trueblue
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Post by trueblue on Feb 16, 2021 9:44:43 GMT -6
I am so sorry for everyone who is struggling.
I am currently compartmentalizing as much as I can. My dad started radiation for his 4th relapse yesterday (his cancer is a ‘chronic’ [versus aggressive which would have taken him already] lymphoma-it pops up, gets treated/goes dormant and then pops up again. I am refusing to acknowledge this time will be any different); my kids are in the process of going back to school FT F2F in a less than ideal situation but 100% virtual isn’t working; my ILs are celebrating a milestone anniversary at the end of the month but argue constantly about everything so I feel like I am throwing a sham dinner party to celebrate when they’ll just passive aggressively pick at each other before/during/after. Apparently its also fine for a President to incite an insurrection as long as we ensure his party can prevail in mid term elections.
My work bestie went out on a major medical leave and I got transferred a lot of her work which is kind of a mess, I want her to come back on the best footing so I have a lot of clean up work to do in addition to my own. Pandemic-wise the walls are definitely closing in but complacency and loosening restrictions in my area make it not safe to go anywhere
So yup. Everything is just fine here. .
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Post by Uncaripswife on Feb 16, 2021 9:47:06 GMT -6
Not just you. We haven't seen the sun in days, I'm super stressed at work, I miss my family and friends, and my sympathetic nervous system is in overdrive more often than not. Plus I always get February doldrums. I hate winter and everything about it - the cold, the ice, the lack of daylight, all of it. Same. All of this. Also, these last 6 months or so, I think the chaos of the election distracted me a bit from the pandemic. Now I'm just like... oh, yeah. Everything is awful still.
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dc2london
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Post by dc2london on Feb 16, 2021 9:53:45 GMT -6
treeofheaven I'm so sorry. I'm really proud of you for jumping into action and doing what you need to do for yourself and your family. That had to be difficult and scary. I'm glad you have your parents for support.
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Minerva
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Post by Minerva on Feb 16, 2021 9:56:00 GMT -6
Rebel, I am sending you warm vibes. I hope you get power soon. treeofheaven, I’m sending all of the hugs. I’m so glad you have your parents there to help you. Lean in them and us. ❤️
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Post by lemondrop on Feb 16, 2021 9:56:18 GMT -6
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Ls2012
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Post by Ls2012 on Feb 16, 2021 9:58:09 GMT -6
Rebel, I am sending all the warm and calming thoughts I can, with hopes that somehow power is restored much sooner than expected. treeofheaven, I am so very sorry. I am so glad you and your kids are safe and loved with your parents.
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byjove
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Post by byjove on Feb 16, 2021 9:59:21 GMT -6
Rebel, I thought I saw that temps should at least start rising tomorrow. What misery! Could you have your kids make an art wall? Like as many drawings on paper as possible and cover the wall?
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lizblue
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Post by lizblue on Feb 16, 2021 9:59:48 GMT -6
My mental health is not in the best place for all of the common reasons stated in this thread.
In relationship to politics, though, I'm feeling unmoored and disillusioned and sad at the state of our country. The GOP being in disarray isn't really making me feel better, it's making me feel like we are a broken country full of xenophobes, racists, science deniers and conspiracy theorists. I comfort myself a little by acknowledging that progress is slow and that in some ways we are bringing fundamental issues that have existed since the forming of our country to the light, the way that progressive movements have always done, one era at a time.
It somewhat helps to think of history as a continuum and that what we are dealing with today is not completely different than any other time. And then some days, that same thought is truly depressing.
And some days I have to stick my head in the sand, acknowledge that I have the privilege of doing so and just check out.
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elle
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Post by elle on Feb 16, 2021 10:01:16 GMT -6
Hugs to everyone here. It's all so hard. Rebel I'm relieved your neighbors can help out with the water situation. I hope you get your power restored soon. treeofheaven - I'm glad you are able to rely on your parents for support; that's a lot to deal with during normal times, during a pandemic, well, it just adds so many difficult layers. As for me I have okay days and not so okay days but I'm muddling through as best I can right now.
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origami
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Post by origami on Feb 16, 2021 10:01:46 GMT -6
Thinking of you treeofheaven, its a hard road but you're doing great. I'm so glad you have your family to help you through.
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origami
Amethyst
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Post by origami on Feb 16, 2021 10:04:48 GMT -6
My mental health is not in the best place for all of the common reasons stated in this thread. In relationship to politics, though, I'm feeling unmoored and disillusioned and sad at the state of our country. The GOP being in disarray isn't really making me feel better, it's making me feel like we are a broken country full of xenophobes, racists, science deniers and conspiracy theorists. I comfort myself a little by acknowledging that progress is slow and that in some ways we are bringing fundamental issues that have existed since the forming of our country to the light, the way that progressive movements have always done, one era at a time. It somewhat helps to think of history as a continuum and that what we are dealing with today is not completely different than any other time. And then some days, that same thought is truly depressing. And some days I have to stick my head in the sand, acknowledge that I have the privilege of doing so and just check out. Oh hi, me. I can't think to hard about where we could to or I start to spiral. And I am heartened by just how much the biden administration has been doing in a very short time. But I'm uneasy about what the future holds. I've also been looking to history and humanity that this isn't necessarily new in the grand scheme of things. But it still sucks. And we have rapid technology advances so it feels a little uncharted. Aren't I just a ball of sunshine!
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origami
Amethyst
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Post by origami on Feb 16, 2021 10:07:15 GMT -6
We have also been stuck home since Thursday due to weather though have thankfully not lost power for long. But the district called school today for messy roads and I want to cry.
I just want to go to my office so bad. Which is carryover from pandemic stress too. I'm in the office most days because essential but man its been doing wonders for my mental health.
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Minerva
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Post by Minerva on Feb 16, 2021 10:10:47 GMT -6
I’ve been mess for the past month, with a combination of fatigue, joint and muscle aches, and depression. I have an AI disorder that can cause those symptoms, but also a history of PMDD, so I’m doing bloodwork this week to help figure out if I need to up my thyroid meds or my Prozac. I’ve been feeling like a giant Eeyore lately, but I’m truly grateful to have access to great medical specialists and a wonderful support system (especially H, who has taken on almost all of the cooking and facilitated my daily naps).
Looking forward to better days. ❤️
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richard
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Post by richard on Feb 16, 2021 10:13:41 GMT -6
I'm super excited for it to be 12 degrees tomorrow so I can go outside. I've been missing my walks which are my alone time, exercise time, fresh air time, all wrapped into one.
Fuck February. We have two short VRBO cabin stays booked in April and June but honestly I'm just waiting for it to be March. Even if it's snowy AF, at least it's in the 20's/30's/40's most of the time.
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richard
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Post by richard on Feb 16, 2021 10:14:45 GMT -6
Love to everyone who is going through more than just the weather.
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Ls2012
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Post by Ls2012 on Feb 16, 2021 10:15:42 GMT -6
I hit a wall a long time ago with virtual schooling my kids. Dd1, as a senior, is self-sufficient but dd2 refuses school work of any variety and dd3 is in everybody's business all the time. Dd2 is going back to school for the 1st time since a year ago in a couple weeks for the last trimester, f2f. I am absolutely terrified of it, but it's my only light in this super dark tunnel.
I have really lost myself in all this. Having to be everything to everyone all the time leaves no room anywhere for myself- not even in my head, which is so cluttered with all the things I need to do for everyone else to function as close to normally and healthfully as possible. DH has been working overtime this whole pandemic, trying to keep his business afloat. There is literally no time or place for him to pitch in to help unburden things here. I get so down when I know others are functioning better with harder circumstances. I'm pathetic.
And February is the month of all the birthdays. Dh, dd1,dd3, my sister, sil, bil, fil all have birthdays this month and the forced merriment for their sakes is going to kill me.
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Post by sheilathetank on Feb 16, 2021 10:16:28 GMT -6
Thanks guys. A neighbor is giving us some of their water, they have a gas stove. This should all be over by Friday. And if the house becomes unbearable, theoretically we can go to a community center nearby and stay there. We are supposed to be quarantined til Thursday because of a neighborhood exposure, but surely they’ll have solutions for people like us. I feel bad for exposing my sister and her family but the risk was worth the benefit for them. Their house was 50 when they left, their 4mo couldn’t keep warm. So. Two days. That’s what I keep telling myself. Has anyone seen Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt? “You can do anything for 10 seconds!” All I have to do is survive for 10 seconds, 480x. Lol sob. I’m gonna go take a gummy. 😂 Though if anyone has amazing ideas for keeping children entertained inside, no electricity needed....I’ll take those. I do, but my ideas involve mess. But during desperate times, I just deal with the mess and realize it's not for forever. Do you have any beans or rice? Do you have a bathtub or a small enclosed room you can easily clean? Put beans and rice in bin and give the kids cups, bowls, and spoons to use as a sensory bin. Then hide toys in the bin and have them dig them out. Use painters tape to make an obstacle course on the floor. Cut up a magazine cover into different size and shape pieces and have them put them together again. Do you have yarn? Make snowball pompoms out of yarn (super easy, just time consuming but will give the 4 and 9 year old something to do) and have an indoor snowball fight. We did this at my kid's bday party last year and it was a HUGE hit with both kids and parents alike. Can also be done with tin foil. Indoor scavenger hunt. Fashion show. Have the kids dress up in their favorite outfits and make a runway. I really hope you get power back soon.
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Post by sheilathetank on Feb 16, 2021 10:18:53 GMT -6
treeofheaven, I'm sorry you are in that situation, but I'm glad you got out and took action when you saw it was no longer safe. For that you should be proud of yourself. It's not an easy thing to do.
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Eagles
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Post by Eagles on Feb 16, 2021 10:23:23 GMT -6
Hugs to everyone here. It's all so hard. Rebel I'm relieved your neighbors can help out with the water situation. I hope you get your power restored soon. treeofheaven - I'm glad you are able to rely on your parents for support; that's a lot to deal with during normal times, during a pandemic, well, it just adds so many difficult layers. As for me I have okay days and not so okay days but I'm muddling through as best I can right now. Will it help if I keep sharing funny shit in my IG stories? ❤️
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Post by karabear on Feb 16, 2021 10:24:57 GMT -6
I am so sorry for everyone who is struggling. I am currently compartmentalizing as much as I can. My dad started radiation for his 4th relapse yesterday (his cancer is a ‘chronic’ [versus aggressive which would have taken him already] lymphoma-it pops up, gets treated/goes dormant and then pops up again. I am refusing to acknowledge this time will be any different); my kids are in the process of going back to school FT F2F in a less than ideal situation but 100% virtual isn’t working; my ILs are celebrating a milestone anniversary at the end of the month but argue constantly about everything so I feel like I am throwing a sham dinner party to celebrate when they’ll just passive aggressively pick at each other before/during/after. Apparently its also fine for a President to incite an insurrection as long as we ensure his party can prevail in mid term elections. My work bestie went out on a major medical leave and I got transferred a lot of her work which is kind of a mess, I want her to come back on the best footing so I have a lot of clean up work to do in addition to my own. Pandemic-wise the walls are definitely closing in but complacency and loosening restrictions in my area make it not safe to go anywhere So yup. Everything is just fine here. . trueblue I’m so sorry your dad has relapsed. My FIL was diagnosed with Stage 3 lymphoma right before covid hit. Going through treatment during covid was so hard on him and my MIL. He literally hasn’t left the house, except for doctors appointments, in a year. His scan last month was clear, and he just received his second vaccine, so we are hoping that we are on the other side of it, but they are preparing for a similar scenario to your dads. I’m wishing him the best and here to commiserate if you ever need anything.
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Post by sheilathetank on Feb 16, 2021 10:25:01 GMT -6
AFM I've been slowly crawling my way out of what I believe is/was PPA/PPD. Everything came to a head last month and it was brought to attention that I needed help. I have an appointment with my doctor for next month and I've increased my therapy appointments. I also have an appointment to get nexplanon. It will be the first birth control I've been on in over 10 years. I'm really nervous about potential side effects or it not working properly, the side effects were so bad when I was on the pill in my 20s, that it really affected my life. Overall it's been better since. I've been working on self care. I let my whole skincare routine go because of pregnancy/newborn/pandemic and I started that again. I'm also back to addressing my weight. Little changes but trying to start slow. I don't want to burn out. My biggest challenge is actually getting my ass moving. I find every excuse in the book and then I'm annoyed at myself. Setting a target of 10-15 minutes 3x a week and then doing some active activity on the weekend. It should be sustainable. Should be.
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Post by enchanted on Feb 16, 2021 10:28:58 GMT -6
treeofheaven I'm glad you have your support system and a safe place. Hugs ♥️
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Post by cakewench on Feb 16, 2021 10:30:46 GMT -6
LTs for support <3
Stress is coming at me from all sides - pandemic, work is nuts, toddlers be toddlering, ILs having non-COVID health issues, haven't seen my family in over a year, putting on weight like it's my job - and my fuse is just SO. SHORT. I've got my cross-stitching to keep me sane but I really need to be better about working in exercise, even if it's just a walk, and not eating chocolate like it's fruit.
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trueblue
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Post by trueblue on Feb 16, 2021 10:31:06 GMT -6
Thanks karabear. This round is being treated solely with radiation. I am a bunch of states away so the guilt and helplessness is compounded. I always dealt with it by telling myself I could hop a flight and be there in a few hours. Except now I can’t. This is just such a bad time. A very dark winter indeed.
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Post by enchanted on Feb 16, 2021 10:31:45 GMT -6
byjove I won't type it all out and I am trying to focus on the many things I have to be grateful for, so I'll say okay-ish. Thank you for asking, my friend. ♥️
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Lakes
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Post by Lakes on Feb 16, 2021 10:33:54 GMT -6
The one year anniversary of our pandemic lockdown is fast approaching and it has put me in a mood. I’m not a super social person but damn I just want things to be open and not have added germ anxiety.
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Post by enchanted on Feb 16, 2021 10:34:04 GMT -6
lizblue Yes to the political. I have had a pit in my stomach since 1/6. I thought it would go away with the impeachment in the House and it didn't. Then maybe with inauguration. It's still here and I've been trying to figure it out. You put it into words. ETA: origami, too. Your words ring true for me as well.
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Post by enchanted on Feb 16, 2021 10:34:18 GMT -6
The one year anniversary of our pandemic lockdown is fast approaching and it has put me in a mood. I’m not a super social person but damn I just want things to be open and not have added germ anxiety. +1
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Ls2012
Amethyst
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Post by Ls2012 on Feb 16, 2021 10:44:42 GMT -6
LTs for support <3 Stress is coming at me from all sides - pandemic, work is nuts, toddlers be toddlering, ILs having non-COVID health issues, haven't seen my family in over a year, putting on weight like it's my job - and my fuse is just SO. SHORT. I've got my cross-stitching to keep me sane but I really need to be better about working in exercise, even if it's just a walk, and not eating chocolate like it's fruit. Psssst: it *is* a fruit. Eat allllll the fruits. 😉 (This is how I justify my periodic binges.)
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Diordra
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Post by Diordra on Feb 16, 2021 10:47:29 GMT -6
The lockdown anniversary for us was/is my birthday. This year is my 40th and my H booked me a hotel for the weekend by myself. I am going to garage and not talk to anyone for 48hrs.
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