stringy
Opal
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Post by stringy on Jan 19, 2021 6:01:39 GMT -6
Essentially the mental health check in- but I called it emotions cuz it’s not like you need to be struggling chronically to be out of whack these days.
How is everyone?
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stringy
Opal
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Post by stringy on Jan 19, 2021 6:06:23 GMT -6
I haven’t been sleeping. Which I’m starting to recognize as anxiety ramping up. (I mean that is obvious at 3 am when my brain is spinning I guess) Likely Inauguration related. But also feelings ways about turning 40 and having no way to celebrate. Which really is just a reminder of all the things we can’t do right now. And the temptation to just give up and do stuff is there- especially when friends are skiing out if state and staying at air b&bs and are fine.
I took the day off tomorrow and M would be really excited about watching but I’m wondering if it’s responsible for her to watch live in the event that something terrible happens. But even taking the day off - there’s nothing fun to do with that.
It’s like the longest rut ever. Forever and ever.
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Post by grumpycakes on Jan 19, 2021 6:14:06 GMT -6
I’m sorry you’re having anxiety stringy. I can relate. I want to tell you to let M watch all the inauguration proceedings and it’ll all be fine but I totally get your worry and I’m worrying about it too. |
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Post by grumpycakes on Jan 19, 2021 6:28:30 GMT -6
I’m EXTREMELY burnt out from being a business owner right now. Every week, I’m dealing with Covid related stuff. Someone comes in with cold symptoms and I need to tell them to leave and get tested, someone texts me that they’ve been exposed and need to quarantine, someone tells me their fiancée is getting tested and do I want them to come to work or stay home until the results come in, someone’s dad has it and they don’t so they have to be out 10 days for his quarantine and then 10 more days for their own quarantine because they live in the same house. I’m so mentally drained from making all the decisions of who can come to work and potentially expose everyone else vs who should stay home and how do I cover their shift. And I’m drained from always having to drop whatever I’m doing to go to work. I have so many goals for my house which would be giving me life if I could accomplish any of them but right now I’m just living in a to do list.
Like...I can’t take it anymore. I just want to run away and I can’t even plan a vacation to look forward to because I can’t quarantine. I know intellectually there’s a lot about my job that I love, but Covid is highlighting all the drawbacks over and over since March. I keep thinking about changing careers but I’m trying to just be still and wait this all out to see how I feel later. But it’s hard to keep going like this without the comfort of an escape plan.
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Post by grumpycakes on Jan 19, 2021 6:38:58 GMT -6
I have started exercising and eating better and as much as I view these methods of self improvement as a last resort (lol) it’s been making a difference in my attitude.
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Post by charlotte on Jan 19, 2021 6:57:04 GMT -6
The other day I found myself thinking repeatedly “am I the only one who is struggling ALL the time??”.
And I know I’m not. Especially during the last year. But yeah. I’m so overwhelmed with daily life (even if it weren’t for the pandemic, honestly) that I can’t even fathom having the extra bandwidth to plan vacations, etc.
Blah.
I have been sort of consistently exercising for the first time in my adult life since august. I’m still not as consistent as I’d like to be but I am really proud of myself for the change I have made.
I bought a journal but I don’t know what to write in it.
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Post by ovenrack on Jan 19, 2021 7:31:39 GMT -6
(snip) And the temptation to just give up and do stuff is there- especially when friends are skiing out if state and staying at air b&bs and are fine. Why is it that people who were formerly pretty strict about, you know, following the rules and guidelines for their state are now doing crazy things?! I don't understand. |
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milano
Emerald
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Post by milano on Jan 19, 2021 7:37:23 GMT -6
Emotions, I have lots of them. I am surprised that I haven't had a breakdown of sorts these past couple of weeks. I thought I had adequately budgeted my anxiety to account for all the things going on in my life right now, but then both the Capitol/Inauguration stuff and also discovering that my mother is a conspiracy theorist have just messed all that up. So now, I am dealing with handling the packers and movers by myself with both kids and both dogs. And in Feb she was supposed to come with me and the kids for a week or so while MH is still here working but that isn't happening anymore either which puts me in charge of the 6+ hr drive there with kids and dogs and also solo parenting there for like 10 days. I don't like to wish away time but I am ready for it to be a month from now. And I'm ready for Covid to be over.
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milano
Emerald
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Post by milano on Jan 19, 2021 7:42:49 GMT -6
Also. It seems that everyone in my town has had Covid, except my family. So people are always getting together and eating out in restaurants and blah blah. And I get so grouchy about it, since we are still being so cautious. But if someone has had it, they can't spread it right and their chances of getting it again so soon are super low right? So are these people really being irresponsible? We have seen my mom a couple times since she had Covid. And my sister once, who also had Covid last month. I am getting Covid decision fatigue. Not so much that I am throwing caution to the wind, because I do NOT want to get it, but I am trying to figure out what is safe and if there is a way I can let J see a couple of his friends in person (outside) before we move, since both of his friends here have had Covid within the past couple months (the kids and parents all had it).
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stringy
Opal
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Post by stringy on Jan 19, 2021 8:28:00 GMT -6
(snip) And the temptation to just give up and do stuff is there- especially when friends are skiing out if state and staying at air b&bs and are fine. Why is it that people who were formerly pretty strict about, you know, following the rules and guidelines for their state are now doing crazy things?! I don't understand. Honestly, I think its the covid fatigue. Or they have no pre-existing conditions or people at risk in their immediate life and are just gambling. I don't know. But I know it tempts me at times - especially when I think I can't b/c of my parents/dad. But then we aren't seeing him anyway so why am I doing this to protect him when we aren't at risk to him? But of course I'd also not like to be sick or worry about my kids being sick. Its just added up to so much after so long...and we haven't been completely risk free anyway. |
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stringy
Opal
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Post by stringy on Jan 19, 2021 8:29:15 GMT -6
grumpycakes, that sounds so exhausting. Can you find like mini days off that you can make a vacation for yourself at home? I know..I know. Just saying.
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stringy
Opal
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Post by stringy on Jan 19, 2021 8:30:34 GMT -6
I have started exercising and eating better and as much as I view these methods of self improvement as a last resort (lol) it’s been making a difference in my attitude. Yes, the days I force myself to do these helps too.
They just aren't happening as often as they should
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Post by ovenrack on Jan 19, 2021 8:32:11 GMT -6
Also. It seems that everyone in my town has had Covid, except my family. So people are always getting together and eating out in restaurants and blah blah. And I get so grouchy about it, since we are still being so cautious. But if someone has had it, they can't spread it right and their chances of getting it again so soon are super low right? So are these people really being irresponsible? We have seen my mom a couple times since she had Covid. And my sister once, who also had Covid last month. I am getting Covid decision fatigue. Not so much that I am throwing caution to the wind, because I do NOT want to get it, but I am trying to figure out what is safe and if there is a way I can let J see a couple of his friends in person (outside) before we move, since both of his friends here have had Covid within the past couple months (the kids and parents all had it). I now officially know of someone who had covid in March and got it again this fall. So. I dunno. Is going to a restaurant with a group really worth it? I've learned so much about peoples' priorities. |
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sarenu
Amethyst
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Post by sarenu on Jan 19, 2021 9:15:25 GMT -6
I am so burnt out.
I just wish I could check myself into a hotel and lay in the bed, snacking and watching tv.
But we have no child care. The last time I was alone in the house was August when the kids went to summer camp. We have no family near us, nor would I trust my family to not be exposed.
My husband is resentful because he is never alone. I cant go into the office. There is no reason for me to go into the office.
I haven't done anything social outside the office since August.
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Post by grumpycakes on Jan 19, 2021 9:32:01 GMT -6
grumpycakes, that sounds so exhausting. Can you find like mini days off that you can make a vacation for yourself at home? I know..I know. Just saying. I’ve been trying. It just seems to *always* happen when I’m planning on leaving work early or trying to take a day off. Which is...convenient? Cause at least I’m not going in to cover for someone when I’m slammed in my own department. But, wtf? Why always when I’m carving out a few hours for myself? Today I was actually able to take the day off (gotta go in at 5am to cover a shift tomorrow though womp womp). My H is leaving for a couple hours this afternoon and I’m going to BE BY MYSELF IN MY OWN HOUSE for the first time in I can’t remember when. The summer? So excited. Hopefully I’ll feel fully rejuvenated from two hours of quiet. 😂😂😂 |
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snowmoon
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Post by snowmoon on Jan 19, 2021 9:41:47 GMT -6
I have a lot of feelings. I’m also burnt out. Work is really hard and I’m feeling so overwhelmed and unappreciated. As is everyone else, I’m sure. People are quitting in droves and they aren’t doing anything to try to keep us. We’re set to vote on a new contract next month and I wouldn’t be surprised if we end up striking.
On top of that! We’re back under stay at home orders that everyone seems to be ignoring. We have neighbours that seem unable to grasp that kids have feelings and get frustrated and express those emotions physically. They have taken to banging on the wall when they tantrum and text me all the fucking time to tell me that it’s “critical” that their toddler has three periods of time throughout the day where we need to be quiet so she can sleep. I hate to use the term snowflake but that’s what they are. I finally blocked their numbers and try my best to run back inside if they come out.
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Post by grumpycakes on Jan 19, 2021 10:19:27 GMT -6
Omg snowmoon. I’m sorry your neighbors are douches. It’s so hard when your safe space at home doesn’t feel safe anymore. I’ve shared houses with shitty neighbors before and it’s like you can’t ever fully relax. I hope they leave or you guys have an opportunity to move. |
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snowmoon
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Post by snowmoon on Jan 19, 2021 12:00:28 GMT -6
Omg snowmoon. I’m sorry your neighbors are douches. It’s so hard when your safe space at home doesn’t feel safe anymore. I’ve shared houses with shitty neighbors before and it’s like you can’t ever fully relax. I hope they leave or you guys have an opportunity to move. It’s honestly so exhausting. We are desperate to find something else but in no position to move any time soon. |
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Post by Dramaphile on Jan 19, 2021 12:23:01 GMT -6
I'm all over the place. Exhausted from *waves hand*, excited for the prospect of my new job starting in two weeks, but also having emotions about leaving and trying to get everything in place for a smooth transition out. And worrying that I'm not going to like the new job, or I won't be what they want me to be. Wanting to get things done (around the house especially) but also feeling like I have no idea where to start and then just feeling frozen and not doing anything. Or barreling through whatever I do end up getting done so I can just get it over with (see: replacing the light fixture yesterday). Loving my kids but also feeling so exhausted from their energy and how they glom on me when I am home. Frustrated with J's depression struggles and my inability to give him the break that he needs, and his inability to appreciate the limited kid free time that he does have. Worried about my family across the country and sad that I can't go see them.
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mapleme
Amethyst
Posts: 6,061 Likes: 16,076
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Post by mapleme on Jan 19, 2021 13:32:00 GMT -6
I’m EXTREMELY burnt out from being a business owner right now. Every week, I’m dealing with Covid related stuff. Someone comes in with cold symptoms and I need to tell them to leave and get tested, someone texts me that they’ve been exposed and need to quarantine, someone tells me their fiancée is getting tested and do I want them to come to work or stay home until the results come in, someone’s dad has it and they don’t so they have to be out 10 days for his quarantine and then 10 more days for their own quarantine because they live in the same house. I’m so mentally drained from making all the decisions of who can come to work and potentially expose everyone else vs who should stay home and how do I cover their shift. And I’m drained from always having to drop whatever I’m doing to go to work. I have so many goals for my house which would be giving me life if I could accomplish any of them but right now I’m just living in a to do list. Like...I can’t take it anymore. I just want to run away and I can’t even plan a vacation to look forward to because I can’t quarantine. I know intellectually there’s a lot about my job that I love, but Covid is highlighting all the drawbacks over and over since March. I keep thinking about changing careers but I’m trying to just be still and wait this all out to see how I feel later. But it’s hard to keep going like this without the comfort of an escape plan.  |
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mapleme
Amethyst
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Post by mapleme on Jan 19, 2021 13:40:12 GMT -6
We have people out all of the time because of covid. And now I have people about to run through the last of their covid emergency pay allotment and so now I'm supposed to tell them to take off a week without pay when they have a sniffles or a friend of theirs got a rapid positive and they saw them for 3 minutes on a porch while they were wearing a mask, so they should be ok, but ARE they ok? Do their coworkers feel at risk if I tell that that they're fine? And then one of my leads said that he thought that some people were milking the covid pay thing (like just saying that they have sniffles or whatever) and that we should start requiring people to produce a negative test result in hand to come back. That is exhausting and I can't even imagine enforcing that (especially because none of my tests have come with anything tangible - just a phone call).
The whole world is overwhelming right now. My world is slightly less overwhelming than it was a month ago, and that's nice. But then I don't even know what to tackle first. Or what might burst out of some corner to bring a new overwhelm - like some murder hornet.
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mapleme
Amethyst
Posts: 6,061 Likes: 16,076
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Post by mapleme on Jan 19, 2021 13:41:24 GMT -6
stringy, you should watch the inauguration with M, but like an hour later. Once you've checked the news and made sure that nothing crazy happened.
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Post by grumpycakes on Jan 19, 2021 15:06:04 GMT -6
Lol just got called into work. Fun times.
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Post by Dramaphile on Jan 19, 2021 15:35:47 GMT -6
I haven’t been sleeping. Which I’m starting to recognize as anxiety ramping up. (I mean that is obvious at 3 am when my brain is spinning I guess) Likely Inauguration related. But also feelings ways about turning 40 and having no way to celebrate. Which really is just a reminder of all the things we can’t do right now. And the temptation to just give up and do stuff is there- especially when friends are skiing out if state and staying at air b&bs and are fine. I took the day off tomorrow and M would be really excited about watching but I’m wondering if it’s responsible for her to watch live in the event that something terrible happens. But even taking the day off - there’s nothing fun to do with that. It’s like the longest rut ever. Forever and ever. There's a kids' stream of inauguration events www.youtube.com/bideninaugural |
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mc13
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Post by mc13 on Jan 19, 2021 15:58:38 GMT -6
I feel like I'm having a slight identity crisis. I just turned in E and A's kindergarten registration forms and like what do I do now? If school is the same next year as it is this year, being a SAHM will be very convenient as they'll all be home 3 days a week. But if things are back to full day, full week school, I should probably get a job...but I have no clue what I want to do and even though I have a Masters degree, I've also been out of the workforce for 6, nearing 7 years by September. I know, not big problems in the grand scheme of things, though I should really start making some sort of plan and even the thought of that is starting to make me anxious.
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Post by charlotte on Jan 19, 2021 16:38:53 GMT -6
I worked on our financial spreadsheet for hours today and it’s depressing AF. And covid student loan forbearance ends next week. Yay.
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Post by grumpycakes on Jan 19, 2021 16:43:53 GMT -6
I worked on our financial spreadsheet for hours today and it’s depressing AF. And covid student loan forbearance ends next week. Yay. I’m really hoping Biden will push the forgiveness thing. |
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Speedy
Sapphire
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Post by Speedy on Jan 19, 2021 17:06:49 GMT -6
We've had a surge of Covid cases lately and it's making me feel pretty sick to my stomach, especially seeing some of the things that people are writing on like the governments page, and the local news sites. Just so frustrated with people in general. And my parents keep going out and seeing people which makes me want to shake them and go "wtf are you doing!?". I think my only blessing is that I'm home all the time anyways. I don't know how ya'll who go to work or work on top of distance learning are doing it but you've got all of my applause.
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sarenu
Amethyst
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Post by sarenu on Jan 19, 2021 17:10:35 GMT -6
I worked on our financial spreadsheet for hours today and it’s depressing AF. And covid student loan forbearance ends next week. Yay. I’m really hoping Biden will push the forgiveness thing. Yes please. We dont have loans and managed to get through with cash, but I'm dreading sending my kids to college. There is now way I can save 300k for them. I want to retire at some point in my life. |
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Post by pbandj714 on Jan 20, 2021 14:00:58 GMT -6
I'm pretty certain I single-handedly blew through our family deductible for 2021 already. *brushes off shoulders* We're on a high deductible plan. This is fine.
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