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Post by wildflower on Jan 13, 2021 19:20:00 GMT -6
Good to know. I'll keep the shirt in rotation for this summer! Unless the pineapples are upside down...... They are sort of every which way, I think? Now I'm gonna have to go dig it out of my closet.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 19:20:35 GMT -6
That’s a common concern but it’s not one that crosses my mind anymore. Him and I have a connection that makes our sex amazing. He doesn’t have that connection with that woman so it may be great but it’s not what we have. It’s something different. I am terrible at explaining things. No I get it! I feel the same with my H, that the emotional connection makes it even better and it’s unique. I just wasn’t sure how common of a concern it is. When I get a bad vibe from a woman is when I get jealous. If I feel her intentions aren’t quite right then I am not OK. I let H know and he stops whatever it is and distances himself. If either of us notice the couple are is on the same page or you can tell they have issues stay away.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 19:24:26 GMT -6
It’s a wide spectrum of people. I did lose a lot of weight (55lbs) before discovering this lifestyle and when I started I was about 20lbs lighter than I am now. I have seen people with full body lifts (the scars are visible when they are ass naked) who are rocking their bodies. It really is all over the board and you can be as covered or as naked (depending on what the venue allows) as you want. So there are fat people too? I second this question because this seems up my alley but I am.. rotund. Yes. I’ve talked to many women who said this lifestyle and seeing women of all sizes owning their bodies has given them the confidence to do the same. You’d be surprised at how many seemingly perfect women are insecure. I have a friend who has what people may say is the perfect body. She used to go to the playboy mansion to model and be the eyecandy so that type of body and she is so hard on herself and finds all the faults that only she sees. The lady is 45 and freaking smoking hot.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 19:28:57 GMT -6
miawallace having someone in the know in your corner will make things easier! And him knowing what conversations to have is big. It’s a bit scary, exciting, and fun whichever way you choose to do it. It’s made our sex life and marriage so much stronger. We are closer than ever. It’s like we formed a much stronger bond through this. I’m definitely no expert and I only know of my experiences and of friends who tell me but I’m here if you need to talk about it.
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Post by beersandweirs on Jan 13, 2021 19:31:58 GMT -6
Do you see yourself doing this for the rest of your lives, or do you think there is a natural stopping point?
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 19:36:26 GMT -6
Do you see yourself doing this for the rest of your lives, or do you think there is a natural stopping point? I can see going to the resorts and probably the clubs (I love dancing). I can’t say I’ll always be interested in other couples sexually. We already aren’t in it for that but at first we were. I hear there’s ebbs and flows with it. Some couples will take a long break and then come back years down the road. I can see that being us when it comes to the sex part of it.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 19:37:48 GMT -6
Unless the pineapples are upside down...... They are sort of every which way, I think? Now I'm gonna have to go dig it out of my closet. Hahaha. You’re fine.
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Post by miawallace on Jan 13, 2021 19:46:02 GMT -6
miawallace having someone in the know in your corner will make things easier! And him knowing what conversations to have is big. It’s a bit scary, exciting, and fun whichever way you choose to do it. It’s made our sex life and marriage so much stronger. We are closer than ever. It’s like we formed a much stronger bond through this. I’m definitely no expert and I only know of my experiences and of friends who tell me but I’m here if you need to talk about it. I love it. And I do agree there’s so much inclusivity in that world. It’s not like how porn shows it at all. Being married to my husband really did open my eyes to how fake porn is and all the taboos that surround some of the “untraditional” forms of sex.
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Tlex
Ruby
Posts: 22,759 Likes: 154,991
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Post by Tlex on Jan 13, 2021 19:47:10 GMT -6
Are there change rooms and lockers at the clubs if you are leaving your house in something discreet, or do you just change in the car or?
I love your opening up this conversation and you and YH seem like a very fun couple. I have friends who are into this lifestyle and the sparks between them are insane, and they’ve been together for almost a couple decades now. I love going to parties at their house because of the atmosphere, I picture the vibe in these parties you describe like that. It really can enhance your own relationship as a couple just being in that kind of sexy, safe, playful atmosphere, I think I get it!
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Tlex
Ruby
Posts: 22,759 Likes: 154,991
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Post by Tlex on Jan 13, 2021 19:51:51 GMT -6
Are there cities or neighbourhoods that are especially known for being home to a large swinger community?
Do people tend to be either team private house parties vs team clubs?
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Post by mothafuckinteatime on Jan 13, 2021 20:04:35 GMT -6
Are there cities or neighbourhoods that are especially known for being home to a large swinger community? Do people tend to be either team private house parties vs team clubs? Aren’t The Villages in FL a retired swingers community?
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 20:23:46 GMT -6
Are there change rooms and lockers at the clubs if you are leaving your house in something discreet, or do you just change in the car or? I love your opening up this conversation and you and YH seem like a very fun couple. I have friends who are into this lifestyle and the sparks between them are insane, and they’ve been together for almost a couple decades now. I love going to parties at their house because of the atmosphere, I picture the vibe in these parties you describe like that. It really can enhance your own relationship as a couple just being in that kind of sexy, safe, playful atmosphere, I think I get it! Usually there are lockers and/or a coat check. Some places allow you to bring bags that house their sex stuff. Some places are BYOB and they provide mixers so that’s nice! It can be $$$ to get in so BYOB helps that cost seem less. It’s a fun and sexy atmosphere without judgement or hostility. A place you feel you can be you and display your sexuality. People are really nice and welcoming.
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Post by marsinvestigations on Jan 13, 2021 20:27:21 GMT -6
willow - so MH and I would go to clubs prior to having kids. Based on my comfort level, our rule was that he could not have sex, oral or full on, with anyone else. So I would hook up with the woman and her partner and MH would watch or if we clicked with a unicorn, he would watch us together. All this to say, everyone is really open with what their rules are and really respectful of others’ rules, so if you wanted to explore an attraction to women without sharing YH it’s not uncommon
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 20:27:33 GMT -6
Are there cities or neighbourhoods that are especially known for being home to a large swinger community? Do people tend to be either team private house parties vs team clubs? I am only aware of one in My state that is a community. It’s kinda dumpy. donnameagle mentioned some in FL. Our group is more team club and house party but plenty of people prefer the chill atmosphere of the resorts. The resorts here are nothing to brag about. Not 4 or 5 star at all but a good time. We like resorts in the summer and a party/club at night. With a little one the combo doesn’t work often for us.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 20:28:22 GMT -6
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 20:37:36 GMT -6
There are hotel takeovers for long weekends which are the shit. A 3-4 day party. If it’s in the summer you have the themed pool parties with DJs and evening big parties and then hotel room parties after. They are epic.
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FlightView
Sapphire
Resident Alaskan
Posts: 4,442 Likes: 18,142
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Post by FlightView on Jan 13, 2021 20:37:44 GMT -6
Thanks for sharing! It makes me wonder if there are swingers spots here. I mean, we’re in no healthy place in our marriage for this, but it’s intriguing to learn about.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 20:42:03 GMT -6
Thanks for sharing! It makes me wonder if there are swingers spots here. I mean, we’re in no healthy place in our marriage for this, but it’s intriguing to learn about. I look for a spot everywhere we go if we can sneak away or it’s just H and I. They’re everywhere (ish) but sometimes really low key other time easy to find. We checked one out in NYC. We had really high hopes. Not impressed and heard later there a better one that I had considered but decided against it. I regret that decision.
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Post by Wtfshouldmynamebe on Jan 13, 2021 20:44:36 GMT -6
Do you use or bring toys to these events? If so is it BYOT?
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 20:46:27 GMT -6
We were at a kid-friendly resort once and went to dinner with a couple and their kids because our kids hit it iff so well and the parents were cool. She was an event planner at a ritzy hotel at the beach and told us a story of the swinger parties she comes across there. She exclaimed, “isn’t that crazy!?” H and I were kind of lost for words because whatever she described seeing was not crazy to us. I don’t think they caught on but who knows. I did sort of feel like they were putting out feelers on us and maybe they were in the lifestyle. H didn’t get that vibe.
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FlightView
Sapphire
Resident Alaskan
Posts: 4,442 Likes: 18,142
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Post by FlightView on Jan 13, 2021 20:46:32 GMT -6
I did a quick google search (totes reliable I’m sure) and it listed our local strip clubs. That makes sense. We’ve gone to our strip clubs, they’re full naked clubs. But patrons aren’t dressed like your pictures and there’s no dancing allowed except, well, the dancers.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 20:47:20 GMT -6
Do you use or bring toys to these events? If so is it BYOT? Yes. They’ll have props and sex furniture and even a glory hole but I have yet to see toys provided.
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FlightView
Sapphire
Resident Alaskan
Posts: 4,442 Likes: 18,142
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Post by FlightView on Jan 13, 2021 20:47:43 GMT -6
Do you use or bring toys to these events? If so is it BYOT? Nice question. Also I’m wondering too. It has to be a yes.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 20:48:28 GMT -6
I did a quick google search (totes reliable I’m sure) and it listed our local strip clubs. That makes sense. We’ve gone to our strip clubs, they’re full naked clubs. But patrons aren’t dressed like your pictures and there’s no dancing allowed except, well, the dancers. There’s “dating” websites that have info on local spots and parties. They may not be advertised publicly because it’s frowned upon. Except Florida. I found those with google but found more on the dating sites I believe.
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FlightView
Sapphire
Resident Alaskan
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Post by FlightView on Jan 13, 2021 20:54:12 GMT -6
Of course Florida... 😂
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 20:57:34 GMT -6
I did a quick google search (totes reliable I’m sure) and it listed our local strip clubs. That makes sense. We’ve gone to our strip clubs, they’re full naked clubs. But patrons aren’t dressed like your pictures and there’s no dancing allowed except, well, the dancers. So I took H to a strip club for his first time ever which was after we entered the lifestyle. It was last year in Vegas for my bday right before we all went into SAH orders. He was unimpressed. He said he gets to see that and more where we go and he doesn’t have to pay for lap dances.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 21:00:01 GMT -6
There’s a club in Georgia I want to check out called Trapeze. I’ve heard good things about it. My goal is to hit a spot in every state we visit. Unfortunately, Hawaii disappointed me. I couldn’t find anything and I’m not interested in meeting couples out for drinks or dinner.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 21:04:40 GMT -6
FlightView oh sometimes people are showing up that have no business being there because their marital issues are front and center. Definitely not something to get into if the marriage isn’t in a strong place. We have friends where this lifestyle contributed to their divorce. They were friends before all this and we both dipped our toes in around the same time. They never communicated and were not on the same page. There was a lot of jealousy and fighting and each of them doing what they wanted to do without consideration of the other’s feelings. It was a mess. We got insider info from some of their unicorns (single females) who later turned to us because they were interested. The husband was controlling and sneaky and tried to claim and control the unicorns. They always ran.
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Post by icedcoffee on Jan 13, 2021 21:13:12 GMT -6
Its interesting to learn theres all kinds of people doing different things/comfort levels. Of course I don't mean I think anyone had to do anything they weren't comfortable with, just that I figured going to a club like that came with certain expectations if that makes sense.
The experiences described here do sound fun and healthy and I'm glad I've broadened my horizon to learn something new. Im not sure if its anything we/I could ever do. Weve had convos but never anything serious/either of us expressing interest more just talking. But now I do feel like I have a lot more information if we ever do!
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Cher
Global Moderator
BMB, GD, Special Interests
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Post by Cher on Jan 13, 2021 21:15:10 GMT -6
How much is it to get in to a party?
Can anyone go or do you need someone to vouch/invite you? Are there any background checks?
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