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Post by Hotcoconuts82 on Jan 13, 2021 14:39:25 GMT -6
How often do you swing? Do you have kids? (Just from a scheduling standpoint lol)
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Post by lolacachia on Jan 13, 2021 14:41:17 GMT -6
So we have friends that are swingers. One drunken night we did an in person AMA. It was amazing. They also started at a club. I would be open to checking it out. But not sure if I could commit.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 14:41:31 GMT -6
Which of you usually identifies another couple? How do you decide how far to go? I would say he’s more liberal in his choices while he calls me the wild card. He never knows who I’ll find attractive. With him being more liberal I’d say he usually is the one asking what I think. We already have general rules set if we’re both interested in a couple and it gets to that point. He’s worried about upsetting me so he lets me be the one deciding how far we go if he’s also interested. If he’s not interested he’ll tell me.
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Post by lolacachia on Jan 13, 2021 14:42:16 GMT -6
What rules do you have set for when you are swinging?
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 14:45:01 GMT -6
Do you both consider yourselves heterosexual? Yes. I am very much into guys. I can kiss women sober but when it comes to more than that I have to have a few drinks. I’m not sexually attracted to women but am not opposed to messing around if I’m OK with it in that moment but I definitely need a few drinks to loosen up. H has no interest in men. In our circles I find that a lot of women are bisexual.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 14:51:22 GMT -6
How often do you swing? Do you have kids? (Just from a scheduling standpoint lol) In normal times we attend clubs, events, resorts, and parties very often. If our older adult kid is not available to babysit and it’s a big event we really want to attend we have family nearby we ask. The older one plans to move out soon so that’ll be the end of that. Most of the time we don’t end up with another couple. Not because we don’t have options but because we enjoy the social aspect and we are pretty selective. We’ve made a lot of great friends and some we hang out as families with now. Obviously no indication in front of the kids that their parents are not your average parents.
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Post by coolbeans on Jan 13, 2021 14:51:40 GMT -6
Ignore if too personal, but how often do you find yourself swinging? Like is it an every weekend thing, monthly, twice a year?
Also, do you and your H look back fondly on any encounters, or do you just look ahead to the next kind of thing and not really discuss anything after it happens?
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jorkzy
Emerald
Posts: 13,757 Likes: 73,365
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Post by jorkzy on Jan 13, 2021 14:52:29 GMT -6
How often do you match up with another couple?
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 14:52:30 GMT -6
So we have friends that are swingers. One drunken night we did an in person AMA. It was amazing. They also started at a club. I would be open to checking it out. But not sure if I could commit. You should check it out to see how it is. It’s a whole different and much better vibe than a regular club or bar. People are very respectful.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 14:55:30 GMT -6
Ignore if too personal, but how often do you find yourself swinging? Like is it an every weekend thing, monthly, twice a year? Also, do you and your H look back fondly on any encounters, or do you just look ahead to the next kind of thing and not really discuss anything after it happens? We were going out pretty much every weekend in the evening. We have a few experiences we still reminisce about. The whole thing is engrained in our lives now that we talk about it often. Not so much hook ups but the parties in general and whatever happened.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 13, 2021 14:56:37 GMT -6
I am so glad I stumbled over here today. Thanks for sharing!
DH and I have had swinging/throuple conversations many times but never pulled the trigger. Also did not know where to start lol
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 14:57:48 GMT -6
How often do you match up with another couple? Not often. We have a lot of interest but we rarely go further than flirting (which probably is more than flirting to most). I’m the one that puts a stop to going further usually. Sometimes H surprises me and puts the breaks on things even with super hot couples because he wasn’t feeling it.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 14:58:14 GMT -6
I am so glad I stumbled over here today. Thanks for sharing! DH and I have had swinging/throuple conversations many times but never pulled the trigger. Also did not know where to start lol There’s apps and websites for that.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 14:59:38 GMT -6
coolbeans the parties can be so epic and we’ve made so many friends that for us it is more about having fun and if things happen, they happen. We don’t have expectations except to have a good time at the party.
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jorkzy
Emerald
Posts: 13,757 Likes: 73,365
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Post by jorkzy on Jan 13, 2021 15:01:17 GMT -6
Does your older DD know about this lifestyle?
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 15:02:44 GMT -6
The outfits. If you like to play dress up, these parties and clubs are the place to do it. There’s usually a theme and you’ll see people fully clothed to almost naked.
I find it very freeing and I feel sexy when I go out to these events. No one is judging and you can wear as little as you want.
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willow
Ruby
Posts: 19,604 Likes: 125,111
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Post by willow on Jan 13, 2021 15:04:29 GMT -6
This is very interesting, thank you for being so open and honest! I have always had an attraction to women that I never really acted upon and I regret not experiencing a threesome at some point but I also know that I have no interest in sharing my H so.... it would never happen, ha.
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willow
Ruby
Posts: 19,604 Likes: 125,111
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Post by willow on Jan 13, 2021 15:05:40 GMT -6
How often do you match up with another couple? Not often. We have a lot of interest but we rarely go further than flirting (which probably is more than flirting to most). I’m the one that puts a stop to going further usually. Sometimes H surprises me and puts the breaks on things even with super hot couples because he wasn’t feeling it. I think I might be confused. You don't often "match up" with couples -- does that mean you don't all go and have sex/play? What do you do at these parties that isn't "playing"? Or do you sometimes just go and mess around with just your H?
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 15:06:15 GMT -6
Does your older DD know about this lifestyle? She does not although she is suspicious or sus as my little one calls it. I always leave the house covered and not in my lifestyle attire but one day she told her friends that were over that her parents go to weird parties where they’re half naked. She also has seen some of my stripper looking heels and my sister mentioned something about swingers (she doesn’t know) but my kid said she wouldn’t be surprised if we were. I did not tell her she was correct.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 15:07:36 GMT -6
Does your older DD know about this lifestyle? She does not although she is suspicious or sus as my little one calls it. I always leave the house covered and not in my lifestyle attire but one day she told her friends that were over that her parents go to weird parties where they’re half naked. She also has seen some of my stripper looking heels and my sister mentioned something about swingers (she doesn’t know) but my kid said she wouldn’t be surprised if we were. I did not tell her she was correct. I messed up a few times by leaving the house in less than appropriate regular club attire while H was dressed very nice. She called me out on it and knew something was up.
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Post by babybean on Jan 13, 2021 15:08:52 GMT -6
She does not although she is suspicious or sus as my little one calls it. I always leave the house covered and not in my lifestyle attire but one day she told her friends that were over that her parents go to weird parties where they’re half naked. She also has seen some of my stripper looking heels and my sister mentioned something about swingers (she doesn’t know) but my kid said she wouldn’t be surprised if we were. I did not tell her she was correct. I messed up a few times by leaving the house in less than appropriate regular club attire while H was dressed very nice. She called me out on it and knew something was up. how old is she?
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Post by summerbabe on Jan 13, 2021 15:10:15 GMT -6
Thanks for this!
My question is how do you like, shut it down if your husband or you isn't feeling it during the getting to know you? Do you just say "no thank you" and then get snacks or a drink?
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 15:13:48 GMT -6
Not often. We have a lot of interest but we rarely go further than flirting (which probably is more than flirting to most). I’m the one that puts a stop to going further usually. Sometimes H surprises me and puts the breaks on things even with super hot couples because he wasn’t feeling it. I think I might be confused. You don't often "match up" with couples -- does that mean you don't all go and have sex/play? What do you do at these parties that isn't "playing"? Or do you sometimes just go and mess around with just your H? We don’t go off with other couples and play that often. We are much more touchy feely than non-lifestyle people so flirting is different but this varies by couple. Sometimes it’s way better to go home and have sex with H after the vibe of the party/club. It’s more comfortable at home anyway and not so distracting. The parties are akin to any wild party but the women are way less dressed (topless even). Think spring break but with older people and actually less clothing.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 15:15:19 GMT -6
I messed up a few times by leaving the house in less than appropriate regular club attire while H was dressed very nice. She called me out on it and knew something was up. how old is she? She’s coming up on 20.
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djs
Gold
Posts: 814 Likes: 3,931
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Post by djs on Jan 13, 2021 15:19:03 GMT -6
Thank you for doing this ama. I'm trying to think of more questions.
Were you ever surprised by some of the people you meet at these parties?
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 15:19:25 GMT -6
Thanks for this! My question is how do you like, shut it down if your husband or you isn't feeling it during the getting to know you? Do you just say "no thank you" and then get snacks or a drink? Exactly. We used to meet people for dinner or drinks but that took a lot of time and effort and I always felt bad when I wasn’t interested in more. It felt like a lot of pressure and work. It morphed into meeting people when we were at the parties and talking. Some people will be very bold and ask straight up but usually interested couples would start by asking what you are into. H defers to me whenever they ask if we are interested in them and if I’m not I stick to we don’t play often.
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Post by babybean on Jan 13, 2021 15:21:28 GMT -6
Have you ever run into someone you knew at a club/party?
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Pizzaslut
Ruby
*it’s a joke. get some hobbies.
Posts: 22,727 Likes: 131,010
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Post by Pizzaslut on Jan 13, 2021 15:22:32 GMT -6
I’m so glad my nosy ass was here today.
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Post by becausewhy on Jan 13, 2021 15:24:07 GMT -6
Thank you for doing this ama. I'm trying to think of more questions. Were you ever surprised by some of the people you meet at these parties? Sooooo surprised! One, I didn’t expect 70-something year old grandma and grandpa in BDSM gear. I was also surprised by how ordinary everyone is in that these people are regular people you see out and about. Teachers, nurses, doctors, cops, accountants...everything! I’ve run into a former boss and a coworker before. Some of my friends in the LS (lifestyle) are grandparents and freaking hot! This lifestyle makes you want to stay on your A-game. I had to figure out how to put all that glam makeup on because that’s my style in this.
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Post by donnameagle on Jan 13, 2021 15:25:28 GMT -6
I find this fascinating! While it’s not something I would consider now, H and I are newlywed and in the baby making process, I very much understand a decade into marriage finding this lifestyle fun and appealing.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but with the jealousy thing...‘I think most people ONLY focus on their partner hooking up with another woman and forget that they too would be getting attention from someone they found attractive. I think that’s where I see the jealousy subsiding some.
Also anecdote - H is 99.99% positive his dad and step mom are swingers and have been for years and years. Similar parties and communities and they are based in Tampa (good ol’ Florida!) Both him and his brother have suspected it since they were about 20ish.
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