|
Post by hellosweetie on Jan 6, 2021 12:19:13 GMT -6
I would not have my child present for that. I hate to say it but there’s always a tiny chance it doesn’t go smoothly and I’ve had that experience and wouldn’t want my child to experience it. They can know what’s happening and process it without witnessing it.
|
|
|
Post by sudokufan on Jan 6, 2021 12:26:56 GMT -6
We had to have our elderly cat put down 2 years ago, when DS was 6. Tigger had a pulmonary embolism at home, and it was pretty clear to H and I that this was going to be Tig's last vet visit. So we explained to DS that Tig was very sick, very scared and in pain, and that we were taking her to the vet so the vet could help her, but that Tig may not be coming home with me. It was at bedtime, which in retrospect was maybe a good thing; H stayed with DS and comforted him while he cried himself to sleep, and I took the cat to the emergency vet.
Any way you slice it, losing a pet is super hard, and DS still has sad times when he thinks of her, but we focused on acknowledging that we miss her and are sad when we think of her, and then segue to sharing good, happy memories. He says he was glad he got to say goodbye.
|
|
|
Post by Rusty Red on Jan 6, 2021 12:33:15 GMT -6
I explained to DS (I think he was 5 at the time) that our dog was in a lot of pain and we didn't want him to feel that anymore. In those terms he understood. He was sad but "happy" the dog wasn't hurting anymore.
|
|
|
Post by kittyriot on Jan 6, 2021 12:37:33 GMT -6
I am so sorry you're in this position. Our DD is 6.5 and we just lost my brother's dog a couple days after Christmas. She asked a lot of questions and we answered them openly and honestly, even when she asked what happens to the dogs body after the procedure. Answering all that was hard because we were processing our own pain, but it helped tremendously. DD was broken-heartened and somewhat surprised by the answers but she is coping very well a couple weeks out.
We also have an old dog, who likely has weeks left, maybe a few months, so we talk pretty openly about how our old guy is doing. We don't put our pain on her so we talk privately about when, how we make that decision, etc...but we remind her our sweet guy is an old man who won't be around long, so hug him and love him now.
|
|
|
Post by thechickencoop on Jan 7, 2021 9:32:44 GMT -6
Man, I'm sorry. I hate that difficult decisions and and moments like this are just compounded by covid restrictions (which, I totally get, it just adds an extra layer of suck).
So, here's my 2 cents. We had to put down our 14 year old dog in...June? May? He had been declining for some time and then over a 2 week period rapidly declined even with increased pain meds, just...ugh. we were thinking some sort of nerve cancer but without an MRI we didn't have an official diagnosis, not that it mattered.
ANYWAY, we had been prepping DS1, also 8, for his death actually for like 2 years. The day we knew we were going to euthanize we made sure to discuss it w him. We told him that because dogs can't go to a hospital or get the same medications and stuff that people get to make sure they aren't in pain, their owners have to sometimes make a decision for them and to make sure they are not suffering.
Our vet is luckily one of my bffs so she came to the house, we layed down some blankets outside, we said our goodbyes. We asked DS if he wanted to stay out w him or if he wanted to go inside, he chose inside and he asked me to come w him. So I sat inside w him and H stayed outside w our dog. I could see out the window so I did gently let DS know when he passed and oh man. He waiiiiled. It gutted me. Fuck.
Meanwhile DS2 was pushing his cozy coupe around the yard and was really providing the perfect amount of comic relief 🤦♀️
Vet took his body back so we could prep his grave and DS1 said goodbye again the next week when we buried him. We buried him right next to our other dog that passed about 7 years ago and we had never actually done anything on the graves so DS and i got a bunch of plants, garden rocks, etc and did a nice garden over the whole thing. He liked that a lot.
We're not religious either but there was a book...dog heaven, that you guys rec'd here. DS said he like that a lot and he read it a few times 🤷♀️
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 7, 2021 9:52:29 GMT -6
Our one dog died when DS1 was 5 1/2. He declined very quickly overnight and we had to make the decision that morning. We told him the dog was very sick and that we wouldn’t be bringing him home because we were going to give him medicine that just made him sleep to take away the pain. We also explained that humans and pets are different when it comes to pain.
I would not have him present as both H and I were sobbing when it happened (I was also almost 9 months pregnant). We chose to have him cremated and every so often he goes to the shelf and kind of like talks to the dog (I know that probably sounds weird).
|
|
|
Post by sweptaway on Jan 7, 2021 11:48:02 GMT -6
Thanks everyone. H and I are going to tell DS, probably tomorrow night, that the dog is sick. I'm not sure what we will decide yet about telling him when the time comes, but I'll talk to H about it this weekend. Hearing that so many of you explained it to your similarly aged kids has given me more to think about and it will probably make it easier to give DS a real chance to say goodbye.
|
|
|
Post by ironcorgi on Jan 7, 2021 14:32:08 GMT -6
Our one dog died when DS1 was 5 1/2. He declined very quickly overnight and we had to make the decision that morning. We told him the dog was very sick and that we wouldn’t be bringing him home because we were going to give him medicine that just made him sleep to take away the pain. We also explained that humans and pets are different when it comes to pain. I would not have him present as both H and I were sobbing when it happened (I was also almost 9 months pregnant). We chose to have him cremated and every so often he goes to the shelf and kind of like talks to the dog (I know that probably sounds weird). Not weird at all. DD does the same with my dog's ashes. But DD also drew portraits of our dog and taped them all over the house. Including all over the other dogs' cages. I wasn't sure how I felt about that...
|
|
|
Post by sunnysideup on Jan 7, 2021 14:44:17 GMT -6
We had to euthanize our cat over the summer and we explained to our kids (8,6,3) what was happening. She was very old and her body was shutting down. They were able to say goodbye at home and take a few pictures together that are now in their room. They like having a picture of each of them with her. We also got a paw print made and they put it on our tree this year and talked about Kiwi.
I personally thought it went okay with the conversation. I told them the day before. So they could ask me questions and have a little time for being around her. But I didn’t want to tell them too far in advance and have them worrying about it for a long period of time.
We did an at home euthanasia and they left for the actual procedure.
|
|
AmyG
Ruby
Posts: 15,325 Likes: 33,879
|
Post by AmyG on Jan 7, 2021 14:56:11 GMT -6
Man, I'm sorry. I hate that difficult decisions and and moments like this are just compounded by covid restrictions (which, I totally get, it just adds an extra layer of suck). So, here's my 2 cents. We had to put down our 14 year old dog in...June? May? He had been declining for some time and then over a 2 week period rapidly declined even with increased pain meds, just...ugh. we were thinking some sort of nerve cancer but without an MRI we didn't have an official diagnosis, not that it mattered. ANYWAY, we had been prepping DS1, also 8, for his death actually for like 2 years. The day we knew we were going to euthanize we made sure to discuss it w him. We told him that because dogs can't go to a hospital or get the same medications and stuff that people get to make sure they aren't in pain, their owners have to sometimes make a decision for them and to make sure they are not suffering. Our vet is luckily one of my bffs so she came to the house, we layed down some blankets outside, we said our goodbyes. We asked DS if he wanted to stay out w him or if he wanted to go inside, he chose inside and he asked me to come w him. So I sat inside w him and H stayed outside w our dog. I could see out the window so I did gently let DS know when he passed and oh man. He waiiiiled. It gutted me. Fuck. Meanwhile DS2 was pushing his cozy coupe around the yard and was really providing the perfect amount of comic relief 🤦♀️ Vet took his body back so we could prep his grave and DS1 said goodbye again the next week when we buried him. We buried him right next to our other dog that passed about 7 years ago and we had never actually done anything on the graves so DS and i got a bunch of plants, garden rocks, etc and did a nice garden over the whole thing. He liked that a lot. We're not religious either but there was a book...dog heaven, that you guys rec'd here. DS said he like that a lot and he read it a few times 🤷♀️ my kids love that stupid/corny book Dog Heaven. My youngest was about 8 or 9, his brother 4 years older, when we had to put our last old dog to sleep. He had been going down hill over the years, was 14 and he had gotten extremely restless. He could not get comfortable to sleep even with pain medicine, he'd walk the floor and cry the night before. We had used our vet a couple times before and knew he'd first give the dog a shot to make them sleep and then a shot to stop their heart. So we knew it would most likely look very peaceful. My sons wanted to go with us when we decided it was time. Poobah had been to that vet a few times so he went to ask for a treat, but then couldn't eat it. The vet gave him the first shot and doggo started snoring so very loud we all including kids and vet started laughing. My son told Poo he could go to sleep and rest finally and hugged him last time. and then it was over. We brought him home to bury in yard, but technically we aren't supposed to do that in the city limits Son talked about euthanasia and we talked about how we do that for animals in our lives, and how we don't do that for humans. and the boys both talked about how when a human is at the end of their life and in pain we should be able to do that for them too.
|
|
|
Post by sweptaway on Jan 21, 2021 8:55:13 GMT -6
Updated in the OP
|
|
STP
Diamond
Posts: 43,325 Likes: 314,776
|
Post by STP on Jan 21, 2021 8:56:03 GMT -6
sweptaway, I will be thinking about you and your family today. I am so sorry.
|
|
|
Post by ironcorgi on Jan 21, 2021 9:06:16 GMT -6
So sorry for your loss. We lost our dog in October and it is still so hard.
You will be in my thoughts today.
|
|
|
Post by readyornot on Jan 21, 2021 9:13:31 GMT -6
Awe, so sorry friend. Losing a pet is so hard. Sending y'all love & comfort 💙
|
|
|
Post by goldenbird on Jan 21, 2021 9:20:20 GMT -6
I'm so sorry ❤ Sending y'all love today
|
|
|
Post by greykitty on Jan 21, 2021 9:57:20 GMT -6
I am so sorry - I know time will never truly erase your sorrow over this loss, but I hope time will also bring you the comfort of good memories about the love you all shared.
And releasing our pets over the Bridge may be the most difficult challenge for any of us - but it is act of love.
|
|
|
Post by babybean on Jan 21, 2021 9:58:53 GMT -6
|
|
Dr. Grey
Amethyst
Posts: 5,162 Likes: 15,477
|
Post by Dr. Grey on Jan 21, 2021 10:06:27 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by MelanieCarmichael on Jan 21, 2021 10:20:54 GMT -6
I'm so very sorry for your loss, sweptaway. Sending all my love and hugs to you and your family. I would love to see a picture of your sweet furbaby - obviously if you don't feel up to that, I understand and hope I didn't offend by asking.
|
|
bobyn
Diamond
local baby-making menace
Posts: 26,468 Likes: 164,094
|
Post by bobyn on Jan 21, 2021 10:37:49 GMT -6
I'm so sorry. Sending your family lots of love today.
|
|
|
Post by lolacachia on Jan 21, 2021 10:45:28 GMT -6
I’m so sorry, thinking about you all. What is your dogs name?
|
|
|
Post by sweptaway on Jan 21, 2021 13:47:36 GMT -6
I'm so very sorry for your loss, sweptaway. Sending all my love and hugs to you and your family. I would love to see a picture of your sweet furbaby - obviously if you don't feel up to that, I understand and hope I didn't offend by asking. Thank you. I'd love to share a photo but tapa isn't uploading pics for me right now. I'll try again later. ♥️
|
|
|
Post by sweptaway on Jan 21, 2021 13:48:44 GMT -6
I’m so sorry, thinking about you all. What is your dogs name? Phineas. He was Vinny when we adopted him 3 years ago, and DS was going through a Phineas and Ferb phase so it seemed to be a good fit. He was 8 when we got him so we theoretically knew we were adopting an older dog. But it's hard, we didn't get enough time with him.
|
|
Pistol
Diamond
Posts: 28,064 Likes: 62,420
|
Post by Pistol on Jan 21, 2021 14:15:01 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2021 14:37:58 GMT -6
I’m so sorry sweptaway
|
|