ktg
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Post by ktg on Jan 3, 2021 12:57:33 GMT -6
I'll second This Naked Mind. It completely changed the way I saw and thought about alcohol.
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Post by microworm on Jan 3, 2021 12:59:36 GMT -6
I appreciate all the support and insight jaygee sunnysideup and others. The moderation piece is speaking to me and my relationship with alcohol. Starting day 1 today and I'm excited. I'm committed to January but could see going longer. Going to download a habit calendar because I love a good visual tracker.
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Post by cabbagecabbage on Jan 3, 2021 13:01:40 GMT -6
I know other people can handle moderation. I’m not saying anything about those who can set boundaries. Just that FOR ME it didn’t work. I think moderation is not as widespread as the alcohol industry or society would tell us. It’s not a myth or untrue that some people moderate but it’s not working as well as we think it is for other people. That’s why it’s so important in this area to just focus on what works for us as individuals and not what society tells us should work. I too was a little obsessed with moderating for a bit. For me it looked like hoarding my weight watchers bonus points for the weekend so I could drink a couple of bottles of wine. That was worth it in my mind until it wasn’t. Until I was like - hmmm - I think there is a less stressful way to be. For me. Have you read or listened to anything by Annie Grace? She explains a lot about how moderating does not work for a lot of people. It was a real eye opening for me as someone who thought she was moderating but was not really feeling super accomplished in doing so. I love Annie Grace even though I still drink. My issue with the idea of moderation is that what I really want is a free and easy relationship with alcohol where it’s not my focus. Being moderate takes *all* this focus and commitment and rules and boundaries. That feels the exact opposite of “Oh, I drink a bit occasionally when I want but it’s no big deal.” Its stressful and feels like I’m the only one who has to limit the fun. It is actually easier to not drink at all than to have my allowed two drinks and then stop. It’s much easier to just set it aside and not touch it at all.
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jaygee
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Post by jaygee on Jan 3, 2021 13:24:11 GMT -6
I think moderation is not as widespread as the alcohol industry or society would tell us. It’s not a myth or untrue that some people moderate but it’s not working as well as we think it is for other people. That’s why it’s so important in this area to just focus on what works for us as individuals and not what society tells us should work. I too was a little obsessed with moderating for a bit. For me it looked like hoarding my weight watchers bonus points for the weekend so I could drink a couple of bottles of wine. That was worth it in my mind until it wasn’t. Until I was like - hmmm - I think there is a less stressful way to be. For me. Have you read or listened to anything by Annie Grace? She explains a lot about how moderating does not work for a lot of people. It was a real eye opening for me as someone who thought she was moderating but was not really feeling super accomplished in doing so. I love Annie Grace even though I still drink. My issue with the idea of moderation is that what I really want is a free and easy relationship with alcohol where it’s not my focus. Being moderate takes *all* this focus and commitment and rules and boundaries. That feels the exact opposite of “Oh, I drink a bit occasionally when I want but it’s no big deal.” Its stressful and feels like I’m the only one who has to limit the fun. It is actually easier to not drink at all than to have my allowed two drinks and then stop. It’s much easier to just set it aside and not touch it at all. Yup. I do like how Melissa Urban from Whole 30 frames it: “I’m not drinking right now”. Here’s a recentish post of hers but she talks about it much more when she first started. Basically she says she’s not drinking right now but if she wants to, she will. She shares that most of the time, she just doesn’t want to. She has a couple of times when she did want to, but mostly it hasn’t been worth it. After the initial 3 or so months of “this is weird and new and scary”, this is kind of where I have landed. I feel I could pick up a drink and be fine. I don’t think it would be more than that for me. A toast at a wedding or a drink on a birthday. But, honestly, nothing has compelled me too. Nothing has been such that I’ve thought - a drink would make this a better experience for me. And it’s not willpower. I mean, seriously, look at my waistline to know I’m not that good at willpower. Lol. It’s just out of my life now. I have done all the things I used to do with alcohol without it (baseball games, concerts, comedy shows, birthday parties, holidays) and I truly had a better time. I’m open to the fact that some day alcohol might become part of my life again but for now - at this stage in my life - I’m just not drinking right now. http://instagram.com/p/CG3HPxVs7N5
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FlightView
Sapphire
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Post by FlightView on Jan 3, 2021 13:58:09 GMT -6
If anyone is looking for a sobriety clock, I just redownloaded NOMO. It counts the time and money you would have spent on top of the time since your last alcohol drink (or soda/fast food whatever you’re tracking).
I used this a few years ago when H and I were sober.
Since both of us are recommitting to sobriety I feel so confident about our future. Probably it’s own thread but I’m not ready to share. One step, one day at a time.
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jaygee
Diamond
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Post by jaygee on Jan 3, 2021 14:30:47 GMT -6
If anyone is looking for a sobriety clock, I just redownloaded NOMO. It counts the time and money you would have spent on top of the time since your last alcohol drink (or soda/fast food whatever you’re tracking). I used this a few years ago when H and I were sober. Since both of us are recommitting to sobriety I feel so confident about our future. Probably it’s own thread but I’m not ready to share. One step, one day at a time. Proud of you both!
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Post by Wtfshouldmynamebe on Jan 3, 2021 14:38:02 GMT -6
I'll second This Naked Mind. It completely changed the way I saw and thought about alcohol. I just got the audiobook. Thanks for the recommendation.
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tater
Emerald
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Post by tater on Jan 3, 2021 14:39:36 GMT -6
I would like to join. My alcohol consumption has dramatically increased over the past couple of months. I have used the stress of work as an excuse and I really felt myself going down a path that I never thought I would.
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Post by goldenbird on Jan 3, 2021 16:39:06 GMT -6
I had plans to really cut back on alcohol in 2020 and I definitely did not. I would say I drank more last year than I ever have, especially the last few months of the year. I'm ready to make real changes with how I think about and approach alcohol, starting with this break.
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FlightView
Sapphire
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Post by FlightView on Jan 3, 2021 16:39:55 GMT -6
Just added The Naked Mind to my wish list. I get audible credits on the 26th, so I’ll buy it then.
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Post by kittyriot on Jan 3, 2021 17:12:07 GMT -6
Just added The Naked Mind to my wish list. I get audible credits on the 26th, so I’ll buy it then. I did the same thing and plan to grab it on the 20th’
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Post by donnamoss on Jan 3, 2021 18:10:55 GMT -6
Day 1 has been interesting. Definitely felt the “pull” around 4:30pm. Stress I think is a big trigger for me to drink. H was putting away Christmas decor and was grumbling and being irritating, the kids were fighting, I was preparing dinner, and it was almost muscle memory as I reached toward the fridge.
Luckily I made a huge pitcher of iced tea earlier, and had relocated all the wine to the garage fridge. So those kinds of tricks are gonna be important for me I think.
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Post by goldenbird on Jan 3, 2021 18:57:29 GMT -6
Day 2 ✔
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
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Post by McBenny on Jan 3, 2021 20:55:32 GMT -6
FOR ME
supports hits different when you've traveled the same journey.
Sure you can offer words and kumbaya but if you don't partake and never struggled your words don't carry the same as someone who has had to overcome as well. 🤷🏻♀️
Y'all have at it. Koko
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Post by ironcorgi on Jan 3, 2021 21:09:20 GMT -6
I would also like to join. My alcohol consumption has gone way up since March and I used to never drink. I bought a bunch of different flavored tea, coffee, and sugar free syrups to sip on during the evenings. I definitely also feel that "5pm pull" and need to get a handle on that before I return to work next week. I think it will be easier to get control over it while I'm home than after a stressful day at work.
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ktg
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Post by ktg on Jan 3, 2021 21:16:55 GMT -6
The 5:00 drink pull, for me, was often hunger, which I didn't realize until I stopped drinking. It's also a low energy point for me any day, so the stress of the day and the hope of the evening were all loud noises in my mind. A drink filled the "time to wind down!" signal - but now if needed I grab a snack and take a quick break.
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Post by ldubhawksfan on Jan 3, 2021 21:25:35 GMT -6
Today is day two and I’m impressed with myself because MIL offered Riesling with dinner and I declined. I really wanted some, and almost changed my mind after I first declined, but I grabbed a pop from the fridge instead. Not ideal substitute but I managed to not go back on my decision, so 👍🏻. I think I’m still giving myself permission to have a glass on the weekend, and Inauguration Day, but hopefully I can hold stead on weekends too.
I appreciate the encouragement from those who have been sober for longer because it’s nice to know those who have done this, and they done find it freeing to continue after 30 days. I also don’t expect them to post daily, so for me, I don’t have a problem with their posts in the thread.
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jaygee
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Post by jaygee on Jan 3, 2021 23:21:48 GMT -6
I don't know if it's good or bad, but Heineken made a dry January 31 can pack of N/A beer. lol I’m just seeing this but Heineken is my go to NA beer. One because my grocery store sucks and has like 3 kinds but two because I actually really like it. I would just say that you have to like Heineken in alcohol form to like it. H does not and thinks this sucks too. But I was a big Heineken drinker when I drank and this tastes exactly the same. It’s completely zero too which not all NA beers are.
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Post by yoginikiki on Jan 4, 2021 7:21:49 GMT -6
I don't know if it's good or bad, but Heineken made a dry January 31 can pack of N/A beer. lol I’m just seeing this but Heineken is my go to NA beer. One because my grocery store sucks and has like 3 kinds but two because I actually really like it. I would just say that you have to like Heineken in alcohol form to like it. H does not and thinks this sucks too. But I was a big Heineken drinker when I drank and this tastes exactly the same. It’s completely zero too which not all NA beers are. I agree it is a dead ringer for regular Heineken. If you like Heineken you will like the zero alcohol version!
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Post by ldubhawksfan on Jan 4, 2021 8:00:52 GMT -6
The 5:00 drink pull, for me, was often hunger, which I didn't realize until I stopped drinking. It's also a low energy point for me any day, so the stress of the day and the hope of the evening were all loud noises in my mind. A drink filled the "time to wind down!" signal - but now if needed I grab a snack and take a quick break. This is so helpful to know! Thank you!
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Post by ironcorgi on Jan 4, 2021 8:34:51 GMT -6
The 5:00 drink pull, for me, was often hunger, which I didn't realize until I stopped drinking. It's also a low energy point for me any day, so the stress of the day and the hope of the evening were all loud noises in my mind. A drink filled the "time to wind down!" signal - but now if needed I grab a snack and take a quick break. That's good to know. I don't feel a craving for alcohol except around that time. I didn't know if it was because I usually have a drink while cooking or something else. That makes sense also considering I restarted keto after taking a 2 month break.
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tj
Moderator
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Post by tj on Jan 4, 2021 10:26:04 GMT -6
Made it through the weekend. Even with football, and my drinking. AND I was super hydrated. Every time my got up to make a cocktail and I felt the urge to make a cocktail, I got up and made a water with a splash of juice. I feel shockingly good for a Monday morning. I have mental mixed feelings about this. Bc I don’t want to never drink again. But I clearly have issues with moderation and maybe never drinking again is a better choice for me. But it’s like day 4. I can make that decision closer to like, month or year 4 lol.
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milano
Emerald
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Post by milano on Jan 4, 2021 12:31:33 GMT -6
I'm going to jump in here with the goal of a dry January. Last year really increased my alcohol consumption and I was in such a good groove before Covid. I love the taste of wine and am actually a very slow drinker but lately I have been craving that "warm fuzzy feeling" which isn't the reason I want to be drinking it. jaygee thanks for the annie grace rec, I just downloaded her book and am going to dive into it.
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pobre
Ruby
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Post by pobre on Jan 4, 2021 12:53:10 GMT -6
Today I start no drinking Sun-Thu like donnamoss. I loaded up on selzter and kobucha. I always forget how good I sleep and feel when I don't drink. Even if its only a glass or two of wine, it makes a big difference for me.
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AmyG
Ruby
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Post by AmyG on Jan 4, 2021 12:55:20 GMT -6
I don't know if it's good or bad, but Heineken made a dry January 31 can pack of N/A beer. lol I’m just seeing this but Heineken is my go to NA beer. One because my grocery store sucks and has like 3 kinds but two because I actually really like it. I would just say that you have to like Heineken in alcohol form to like it. H does not and thinks this sucks too. But I was a big Heineken drinker when I drank and this tastes exactly the same. It’s completely zero too which not all NA beers are. I figure its as good as heinekin. Laughing a bit at the marketing. They actually gave it away for a while but I think thats over.
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Post by GhoatMonket on Jan 4, 2021 13:27:33 GMT -6
I’m just seeing this but Heineken is my go to NA beer. One because my grocery store sucks and has like 3 kinds but two because I actually really like it. I would just say that you have to like Heineken in alcohol form to like it. H does not and thinks this sucks too. But I was a big Heineken drinker when I drank and this tastes exactly the same. It’s completely zero too which not all NA beers are. I agree it is a dead ringer for regular Heineken. If you like Heineken you will like the zero alcohol version! I may have to try this one then.
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apk4
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Post by apk4 on Jan 4, 2021 13:33:08 GMT -6
I am in! I quit drinking last June, and am getting to a point where I'm pretty comfortable with my sobriety (for now).
I cannot moderate, so I do better just not drinking at all. I second the suggestion of Annie Grace, as well as pinkfreud's support. Both helped me immensely.
I can be around my H if he drinks now, and it doesn't bother me. I will usually run and get a fountain diet coke and some gummy bears to wind down and have a "treat."
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Post by PandaWatch on Jan 4, 2021 13:34:24 GMT -6
Like some others in here, I’m only drinking on Friday and Saturday, so yesterday was Day 1 for me. I had a flavored seltzer after the kids went to bed.
I definitely felt more refreshed this morning after drinking for most of the last two weeks.
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Post by filingjointly on Jan 4, 2021 13:48:32 GMT -6
I’m on day 4 today. I’m not having too difficult of a time because there are always a couple of days a week at least where I don’t drink anyway. I struggle more with wanting not to stop after 1 or 2 standard drinks.
My birthday is Thursday (37 so not a big deal or anything) and I haven’t decided if I’ll imbibe that night or not.
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Post by Wtfshouldmynamebe on Jan 4, 2021 14:18:30 GMT -6
I will take any and all tea recommendations. I ordered a bunch from Steepologie. I like the Earl Grey Lavender and midnight rose.
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