Things Kids Say- Isolation Edition

[snowmoon]

"Your toe nails look funky. You need a pediture. Too bad everything is closed."

Video chatting with his teachers who were all in their respective homes:
"Oh hey, are you in our new school? I like it. It looks cozy."

"E, you are seriously getting on my very last nerve."

[milano]

Compliments of M:

While giving the donkey a carrot treat- "Willow, sit!"

She came into the bathroom today and announced that dad and J have wieners but her and I have "bottoms. I mean ladies. Lady butts!"

[stringy]

P on a zoom call. Other kid's grandmother must have been helping him "is that N's teacher!?! He looks like he is 20" mom: "shhhh mom they can hear you!" teacher "lol for days"

[jnu76]

H (5) wanted to play doctor’s office:
H: hello. Please sit in the waiting room. Here’s a magazine.
And then she left me there for 20 minutes while she saw her stuffed animal patients first.
Apparently she paid attention last time I took her for a checkup.

[grumpycakes]

Apr 24, 2020 16:46:00 GMT -6 jnu76 said:

H (5) wanted to play doctor’s office:
H: hello. Please sit in the waiting room. Here’s a magazine.
And then she left me there for 20 minutes while she saw her stuffed animal patients first.
Apparently she paid attention last time I took her for a checkup.

Would play.

[jnu76]

Apr 25, 2020 5:00:17 GMT -6 grumpycakes said:

Apr 24, 2020 16:46:00 GMT -6 jnu76 said:

H (5) wanted to play doctor’s office:
H: hello. Please sit in the waiting room. Here’s a magazine.
And then she left me there for 20 minutes while she saw her stuffed animal patients first.
Apparently she paid attention last time I took her for a checkup.

Would play.

I got to read a lot of that magazine.

[mapleme]

I jokingly referred to this puzzle as “a giant vagina” to DH and now that’s all the kids will call it. As in, “Daddy, Mom is doing the giant vagina!”

[tj]

P: E please stop singing. It’s horrifying.

(It really is. But I would never tell her that.)

[tj]

Last night during prayers, P said:

And I want to pray for the corona virus. Bc he’s acting like he’s the boss of the whole world. And that is not how we treat people.

😂😂😂

[milano]

May 2, 2020 9:20:05 GMT -6 tj said:

Last night during prayers, P said:

And I want to pray for the corona virus. Bc he’s acting like he’s the boss of the whole world. And that is not how we treat people.

😂😂😂

Lord, hear her prayer!

[Dramaphile]

Nugget has recently started saying "kitty please" (instead of "pretty please") and "kitty swear" (instead of "pinky swear") and it's so stinking cute. And she calls Pigtails "Pink tails." I really hope she keeps this up for a long time.

[snowmoon]

B was walking around with a basket on his head and kept saying "I'm a pot head!"

[Speedy]

When I get myself some fruit, F sits and cries for fruit. I give it to him and he just plays with it and makes a mess. Argh!

[mc13]

E and A 3 years old: *Shushes T* “Daaaaadd! We on a call!”

[rugger]

Lately, my girls just keep making fart jokes. 🙄
I hate fart jokes. When does this phase end?

[tj]

May 6, 2020 12:56:46 GMT -6 rugger said:

Lately, my girls just keep making fart jokes. 🙄
I hate fart jokes. When does this phase end?

I taught my kids from a young age that it isn't funny, it's crude. So we don't allow fart jokes, and if we do toot, we have to say excuse me.

Zero tolerance from me. #meanmom

[mapleme]

Apparently both girls have convinced themselves that Jeff Bezos is going to sneak into their bedroom in the middle of the night and steal the money from their piggy banks. I don't really know how it happened, but I think that this is the way it went down.

Me (in response to something that DH said): We're not rich like Bezos
C: Bezos isn't rich like M is rich! M has lots of monies.
Me: M is richer than Bezos?!?! DH, M is richer than Bezos!
DH: I'm emailing my boss to quit right now!
M: I'm not that rich.
Me: Yeah, Bezos probably has more money
C: Where did he get all that money? Did he steal it?!?!
Me: Well, ha, kind of.
C: Is he going to steal M's money? Is he going to steal MY MONEY?!
Me: I don't think that -
C: Bezos is going to steal our money M! We must hide it!

And they ran off to hide their money. At bedtime M came downstairs and was all, "Mom, is Bezos really going to sneak into our room tonight and steal our money? Do we need to hide it?"

😂😂😂

[mapleme]

Yesterday morning M woke up an hour early.

M: mom? Mom? Moooom? MOOOOOOOMMMM???

Me: (woken up) what?

M: my eyes just keep closing!


🤦‍♀️

[tj]

P has started saying to-mah-to instead of to-May-to.

And no, we don’t watch Peppa Pig. So what’s up with the British pronunciation?

[piratecat]

2YO: Why don't you have a penis?
2YO before I can answer: Because you're old?

[Dramaphile]

May 21, 2020 12:53:27 GMT -6 piratecat said:

2YO: Why don't you have a penis?
2YO before I can answer: Because you're old?

I can just imagine the wheels turning in his little head and considering the idea that it falls off when you grow older 

[piratecat]

May 21, 2020 14:07:49 GMT -6 Dramaphile said:

May 21, 2020 12:53:27 GMT -6 piratecat said:

2YO: Why don't you have a penis?
2YO before I can answer: Because you're old?

I can just imagine the wheels turning in his little head and considering the idea that it falls off when you grow older 

That would be devastating to him! 

[milano]

May 21, 2020 12:47:31 GMT -6 tj said:

P has started saying to-mah-to instead of to-May-to.

And no, we don’t watch Peppa Pig. So what’s up with the British pronunciation?

She's just very cultured, tj.

[mc13]

R is on her Zoom call for school and her friend H brought her dad for show and tell. He talked about how he’s a volunteer fire fighter and R raises her hand with a question and ask “Do you play any games on Nintendo? That’s what my dad likes to do.” 😂😂😂😂

[rugger]

A (6): "look Mama, I can lick my armpit!"

[Dramaphile]

Nugget declared that we should get some lemons because she wants to make a lemonade stand to get money to buy toys. I told her that might not work right now because of the germs, and then said, "You know, you could earn some money by doing some extra helping around the house, like sweeping the kitchen."
Her response was "No thanks, I just want to sell lemonade and get money"

[snowmoon]

There’s a nest of baby birds on our porch. B asked what kind of birds they are and I told him they are starlings and he now refers to them as Star Wars birds.

[rugger]

Jun 5, 2020 7:41:12 GMT -6 Dramaphile said:

Nugget declared that we should get some lemons because she wants to make a lemonade stand to get money to buy toys. I told her that might not work right now because of the germs, and then said, "You know, you could earn some money by doing some extra helping around the house, like sweeping the kitchen."
Her response was "No thanks, I just want to sell lemonade and get money"

Ha! I gotta say, the lemonade stand thing is not my favorite. R and her friends did it last year. And it couldn't just be R's stand.. the neighbor kids had to help too, so they split the money evenly. But it was such a cluster 🙈 and of course, we tried to weave in basic accounting into it, so R understood she had to put away some money to pay for supplies to do it again (i.e.- lemons and sugar and cups don't just magically appear for her "business").
We did not set up another stand after that LOL

And last night, I tried suggesting to A that she could do extra chores to earn money for a doll she wanted, but that was met with "nooo! Why can't YOU just buy it for me??"

[Dramaphile]

Jun 5, 2020 8:44:04 GMT -6 rugger said:

Jun 5, 2020 7:41:12 GMT -6 Dramaphile said:

Nugget declared that we should get some lemons because she wants to make a lemonade stand to get money to buy toys. I told her that might not work right now because of the germs, and then said, "You know, you could earn some money by doing some extra helping around the house, like sweeping the kitchen."
Her response was "No thanks, I just want to sell lemonade and get money"

Ha! I gotta say, the lemonade stand thing is not my favorite. R and her friends did it last year. And it couldn't just be R's stand.. the neighbor kids had to help too, so they split the money evenly. But it was such a cluster 🙈 and of course, we tried to weave in basic accounting into it, so R understood she had to put away some money to pay for supplies to do it again (i.e.- lemons and sugar and cups don't just magically appear for her "business").
We did not set up another stand after that LOL

And last night, I tried suggesting to A that she could do extra chores to earn money for a doll she wanted, but that was met with "nooo! Why can't YOU just buy it for me??"

Yeah I'm not a huge fan of the idea normally, especially since it would require a lot of work on my part since she's so little.  I'm sure she saw it on a tv show.  

[charlotte]

DS1 did one of those fill in the blank thing a for Father’s Day.

My dad likes to: “work on his wood”.