TTMA donor eggs, dembryos, adoption, CLNBC( grads welcome)

[sally]

We haven’t had a post about this in a while.

Basically help me decide what to do with the rest of my life.

If you did one (or more) of these, why did you decide it was the right choice for you? Why were the other choices not the right choice? I want to make sure I’m thinking of all the things before jumping into anything. Thanks in advance!

[cythe]

I didnt want to read and not respond, so pardon my lack of answering your actual questions.

After our first IVF failed, in my excessive amounts of down time, I did some soul searching and some research into all of our options. For us a driving factor was cost as well as a diagnosis (which for us seems to be severe endo on my ovaries which affects egg quality) so had our second IVF not been successful, we would have gone with donor embryos.

FOR US, having a genetic link to our child was not important. I know that for many who are considering donor embryos, eggs or sperm it can be and thats something that each couple has to come to terms with, or to call a halt on the whole process because its important. For us donor embryos was a safer option, and knowing that our problems were making embryos and not my uterus or ability to carry a pregnancy.

At the end of the day, donor embryos and adoption cost about the same and the adoption process can be brutal for everyone involved. I hope you guys can come to a decision that works for you. Hang in there.

[sally]

Jan 14, 2020 17:39:23 GMT -6 cythe said:

I didnt want to read and not respond, so pardon my lack of answering your actual questions.

After our first IVF failed, in my excessive amounts of down time, I did some soul searching and some research into all of our options. For us a driving factor was cost as well as a diagnosis (which for us seems to be severe endo on my ovaries which affects egg quality) so had our second IVF not been successful, we would have gone with donor embryos.

FOR US, having a genetic link to our child was not important. I know that for many who are considering donor embryos, eggs or sperm it can be and thats something that each couple has to come to terms with, or to call a halt on the whole process because its important. For us donor embryos was a safer option, and knowing that our problems were making embryos and not my uterus or ability to carry a pregnancy.

At the end of the day, donor embryos and adoption cost about the same and the adoption process can be brutal for everyone involved. I hope you guys can come to a decision that works for you. Hang in there.

Yeah, all of the options have significant financial and emotional costs, and none are guaranteed. It sucks. I’m glad you didn’t have to go down that road.

[champagne]

Late, but we are considering donor embryos, adoption and CLNBC. Cost is a huge factor for us at this point. Which I absolutely hate, but it is what it is. We have already put about $50k into IVF and are in debt because of it. We have to try to think responsibly about bringing a child into our lives that we can truly afford. So far my research shows that adoption can cost more than dembryos. Genetics have never been of high importance to us since we previously did IUI with donor sperm. I’m still early in researching things. I’m still grieving over our losses and most recent failed IVF. I just wish I could win the lottery and have as many options as possible. Ok I’m rambling so I’ll stop now.

[sally]

I think we are leaning towards donor eggs. I need to look into this a bit more- I know there are guaranteed programs using frozen eggs, but I don’t know if you can do PGS and we would want to do that. Also, $$$. So it might be one shot with a fresh cycle and that’s the end.

[champagne]

Jan 21, 2020 17:06:19 GMT -6 sally said:

I think we are leaning towards donor eggs. I need to look into this a bit more- I know there are guaranteed programs using frozen eggs, but I don’t know if you can do PGS and we would want to do that. Also, $$$. So it might be one shot with a fresh cycle and that’s the end.

Yeah, we would probably only try one time and we’ll try to get a PGS tested one. Are you looking at national programs or just local clinics?

[sally]

Jan 21, 2020 21:17:36 GMT -6 champagne said:

Jan 21, 2020 17:06:19 GMT -6 sally said:

I think we are leaning towards donor eggs. I need to look into this a bit more- I know there are guaranteed programs using frozen eggs, but I don’t know if you can do PGS and we would want to do that. Also, $$$. So it might be one shot with a fresh cycle and that’s the end.

Yeah, we would probably only try one time and we’ll try to get a PGS tested one. Are you looking at national programs or just local clinics?

I’m not in the US, so if we did frozen donor it would be national (well, international for us), aren’t any frozen egg donor options here that I know if. For fresh it would be a national program and then work with our local clinic.

[champagne]

Interesting sally! I didn’t realize that you weren’t in the US.