Check-in for you (5/29)

[Speedy]

I'm just feeling angry at myself that I can't seem to get my mind in order enough to set up a schedule or organization or anything. I told a coworker the other day, I set up things to get organized, do them for like 2 days, and then just don't do them any more. It's frustrating, because I WANT my house to look nice, and my kid to be able to rely on me to do this at this time, but I just can't seem to do it =/
I'm also a little frustrated that I'm almost 32 and still live like I'm in my early 20s. I know we live on cash, rather than putting things on credit, so that definitely makes a difference, but I'd like to buy a new couch instead of scrounging one, hello!

[Speedy]

QOTW - pedicure. In my job I use my hands too much, and they're constantly getting wet, so manicures don't last. Plus being on my feet all the time, it's nice to have them pampered.

[mirabelle]

enchanted yay for the physical things, sorry other things are causing you stress.

@speedy I can definitely relate to wanting newer, nicer things.

AFM things are good, we have a lull here in our house before summer schedule starts that I am feeling anxious about so I’m enjoying while I can.

Qotw: so I used to love a pedicure and I don’t know when the switch flipped, but it is now the last thing I want to go do. I’d rather get my teeth cleaned at the dentist. I don’t know why I don’t enjoy it anymore. I do love getting a manicure and having pretty nails and always have.

[addymac]

I'm late, per usual.

I'm... ok. not really. the last few months i've felt like i'm drowning. I told DH he had to step up and help more and he did, enough where i wasn't continually pissed at him, but we are still in a bad place. Mainly i think because we are so fucking tired all the time because Noah sleeps like SHIT. he wakes up ALL the time, we have to go in to calm him down, we have to lay with him for him to fall asleep at bedtime, at nap-time, in the MOTN.... it's fucking awful. we sleep trained in september and it was pretty good until january when we went on vacation and it all went to shit. then another vacation in february really did us in. since then we've been just surviving.

long rant ahead

I was supposed to have a relaxing Me day earlier this week. it was almost comically bad. I was so stressed the whole day - the OPPOSITE effect it was supposed to have. I went to dye my hair. showed the guy several hair pics of things i had had done in the past so he knew what i wanted- a balayage / ombre type thing, and i ended up with fucking highlights that are so brassy and orange i feel like a tiger and I hate it. every time i look in the mirror i want to cry. And i literally have no free time to go in to get it fixed anytime soon because DH's work schedule is SO bad right now we're paying our nanny for more than 40hrs OT every week this month. Poor lady is just working her ass off this month. she deserves so much more than we can afford to pay her. Anyway, so hair sucks. and the appt was scheduled for 2 hours - it went 3.5!! I had a bra fitting appt i had to reschedule because i was finally going to treat myself and figure out my bra size and buy some nice bras that aren't $10 since i stopped breastfeeding almost a year ago... I was so rushed to get there. I didn't get to eat lunch that day. and then I was rushing to get to my massage. the whole massage my stomach was grumbling and the freakin therapist WOULD NOT STOP TALKING. I was just over my awful me day. Then i got a mani/pedi and that went okay except my mani chipped the very next day.

and now DH's car is active dying so we need to buy a new one and we have to drive an hour into the suburbs to go look at ones he maybe wants, and N doesn't do great in the car for long periods of time. chicago traffic sucks donkey dick and I'm just so tired. He was up at 6:30 am and last night DH was on overnight call so I was taking care of him myself, so after I put him to bed, I didn't eat dinner til 9:45p, then I decided to shower and wash my hair b/c i knew i wouldn't get time in the morning to do it, then I decided to treat myself to a face mask, so i didn't end up going to bed til super late. my fault, but i just needed some down time. but now I'm so, so tired. Even tho I already drank a nice iced coffee thing. ugh

I just want some alone time that's not running errands for the house or DS, or being at work, or rushing to make sure I get wherever in time. I'm just tired.