February Randoms!

[sunshiney]

thelittleredm dashook the only way I could feel more supported when it comes to home stuff was to be okay with temporarily taking on the role of the person to notice and remind (nag) until DH was basically trained in his evening chores... He had a positive willing attitude but would forget/avoid until I stopped caring if I was bugging him and just basically got on his case (nicely) with no leeway for if he was busy or tired... It's amazing what a difference it makes for me now just to know that he will do all hand wash dishes (I fill dishwasher), counters, and sink soon after dinner every night. I could see he felt put out at first but after weeks of me acting appreciative but not too appreciative (not like, oh you're doing me a favor), I feel so much better about cooking every night because I know he'll do his part to show appreciation! I wonder if a small list of dishes... Trash... Sweeping could eventually somehow be YH's automatic habit, leaving you room to ask for a couple "extras" each night? Of course there's also the danger they start to notice that the more they do the more we expect lol...

[thelittleredm]

sunshiney, We have a daily chore list that everyone has to check off each day. And some nights have more than others because there are a couple nights when he gets home late and I don't want him having to worry about them. He just goes through cycles where he's really on top of getting things done and then he does absolutely nothing and will fight tooth and nail about why I'm being unfair. I'm used to it by now and really take advantage of the high times.

[wildflowers]

cch congratulations!!

[sunshiney]

Feb 7, 2019 12:25:09 GMT -6 thelittleredm said:

... and then he does absolutely nothing and will fight tooth and nail about why I'm being unfair. .

Eeks! That would drive me up the wall. The most unattractive thing MH can do is act entitled!

[wildflowers]

((@dadhook)) This three kid business is seriously hard! My DD2 isn't even going to school right now, and my DD1 rides the bus, and I can hardly keep up. Can anyone else help you transport your bigs?

[CharlieB]

We had some crazy weather last night. Lots of thunder with heavy sleet and freezing rain. DS1 was scheduled for daycare today, and MH braved the roads to drop him off this morning because that kid seriously needed to get out of the house. I’m looking forward to a properly worn out and more agreeable kiddo this evening.

[k]

If I could bottle up the feeling of snuggling a sweet newborn in bed on a rainy day while drinking coffee I’d be rich 🤑😍

[dashook]

I think I spoke too soon about MH. Tl;dr he’s a completely disorganized idiot.

He was just on paternity leave for 4 weeks. He spent a *huge* chunk of that (I’m talking hours and hours per day) “fixing up” our basement (which is messed up because of him in the first place but I digress). I almost never go down there.

Today I did. I wanted to bring up all the boy 3 and 3-6 month stuff for V. In the late fall I only grabbed and washed the neutral NB and 3 month stuff since we were Team Green.

First of all I still can barely walk from one end of the basement to the other so he hasn’t fixed shit. But more distressing, I found the kids’ clothing. We have saved everything, knowing we weren’t done yet.

You guys. I spent the last 4 years painstakingly collecting my kids’ clothes as they outgrew them, placing them in boxes sorted and labeled by size and gender. This SOB has taken them—all of them—out of the boxes and put them into enormous plastic storage tubs. Which is great for keeping mildew out HOWEVER they now are completely mixed together with zero rhyme, reason, or pattern. No labels. Random socks floating around everywhere. Newborn clothes mixed in with 9 months and 2T clothes, boy, girl, and neutrals.

I just spent over an hour down there digging through 8 or 9 different huge bins (while wearing V...great for my back) just to find the 3 month boy clothes I wanted. I found them strewn throughout every single one of those bins. I’m sure I didn’t even get all of it but I got enough to get us through the next month or two. I also found all of the swaddle sacks and blankets I have been searching for. Some of it he already has outgrown.

It literally would take me a minimum of an entire day with no interruptions to re-sort these clothes, but I think I’m going to have to because I can’t do this every time V goes up a size. I’m just fucking livid right now. What can I even say to this grown ass man about this? Like how do you get through to someone who is not only capable of doing something this stupid but actually seems to think what he did was helpful and productive? I am disgusted.

[thelittleredm]

dashook
I would be just as livid. What was he thinking??? I mean. At least keep same size stuff together! I'll ask H to box up too small clothes for me (that just need transferred to a box) and instead of sorting by size like I mention, he just tosses everything together.

[hrh]

OMG dashook 😖 I would cry. It takes so long to do that organization! I am so sorry.

[sammysam]

cch Congratulations!!! I can't wait to see some pics:)

[CharlieB]

dashook Oh, noooooo...no no no. Nope. Is there actual smoke pouring from your ears? Because I think my head may have exploded if that happened over here. I know how much effort it’s taken to keep one kid’s stuff sorted - I can’t imagine how very pissed you must be.

[sunshiney]

dashook oh no! What was he doing down there all that time?? It sounds like he needs to organize those clothes, and that needs to come out of his own leisure time not like he thinks he's being a help. I'd be so discouraged and frustrated!!

[TashaLa]

cch yay! Yay! Yay!!! Congratulations momma!!! So happy for you! Can’t wait to hear all about it!

[thelittleredm]

Hm. Been contracting off and on all day. Nothing crazy close together but it seems to be picking up a little whether I'm walking or reclining. I'm going to down a bunch of water and see how it goes. Maybe we'll have a baby this weekend? But probably not. I won't hold my breath.

[TashaLa]

dashook I would be PISSED!!! Why?!? I don’t even know what I’d do. Sorry!

[CharlieB]

MH is getting on my last nerve. He keeps staying up entirely too late at night, and then he’s a complete grump the next day. Last night, he was up until 2:00 even though he had to take DS1 to daycare this morning. He didn’t wake up in time for DS to have breakfast at school, so he kept rushing him to eat and snapping at him while getting dressed. Um, no. Don’t be an asshole to our 3-yr-old because you suck at self care and time management. Looks like we’ll be having a long chat later. I’m sure he’s stressed after the week that we’ve had, but I need him to take care of himself.

[thelittleredm]

Feb 8, 2019 8:17:44 GMT -6 CharlieB said:

MH is getting on my last nerve. He keeps staying up entirely too late at night, and then he’s a complete grump the next day. Last night, he was up until 2:00 even though he had to take DS1 to daycare this morning. He didn’t wake up in time for DS to have breakfast at school, so he kept rushing him to eat and snapping at him while getting dressed. Um, no. Don’t be an asshole to our 3-yr-old because you suck at self care and time management. Looks like we’ll be having a long chat later. I’m sure he’s stressed after the week that we’ve had, but I need him to take care of himself.

MH and I have this discussion regularly. He rarely gets up with enough time to really let the kids eat. He seems to think if he can get ready in 45 minutes, everyone else can get ready in 45 minutes. It drives me crazy. Now, some mornings he goes to his mom's and she makes them breakfast but I still don't think he's giving DS1 enough time to eat. 


Speaking of H...
He just called after DS2's 2yr check up. Kid has had an awful runny nose for a couple days and we figured it was his allergies. Nope. Well, it may have started that way. He has a double ear infection, now. Again. No other signs of it except that he's been a little crankier than normal. Sigh. And he's 50% for weight but only 25% for height. Pediatrician thinks that will all balance out over time but honestly, I'm not a tall person. H is average height. And H is built like a tank except you don't realize it. Like, people under-guess his weight by at least 20lbs ALL the time. So maybe DS2 is just taking after him.

[thelittleredm]

Awwww H's coworkers through him a huge surprise baby shower at work today! I'm pretty positive we're going to end up donating unopened boxes of diapers unless A grows as slowly as DS1 did. It was so sweet! They posted pictures on the clinic's Facebook page and then H called to tell me about it.

Now to find room in the already cramped closet for more diaper boxes...

[CharlieB]

I bought tickets for MH and DS1 to see Paw Patrol Live later this month. I’m not sure if that’s MH’s idea of a fun time, but I hope that DS enjoys it!

And I think B has a cold. 😔 He’s been sneezing, coughing, and congested all day, and he had a bunch of green snot after sneezing a bit ago. Currently doing skin to skin and waiting to hear back from the doc even though I know that they’ll just say to take him in if he has trouble breathing or a fever. I was afraid of this after being at the hospital during cold/flu/RSV season.

[thelittleredm]

Feb 8, 2019 17:10:10 GMT -6 hrh said:

Sorry for all the colds and clueless DHs, ladies. Reminds me to have the typical CTJ talk with DH about how paternity leave is NOT time to do his projects, nor his parents' projects when they come and inevitably ask him to do things. Good times.

CharlieB Paw Patrol will be very fun for your son, we've done a few things like that and they've loved it! They still talk about those experiences.

thelittleredm how sweet of your DH's work! You can return certain amounts with no receipt to Target so maybe return a few boxes or exchange for bigger sizes if they sell that brand.

I plan on it. That's what we ended up doing with DS2's diaper stash lol It took so long for DS1 to grow out of diaper sizes that we stalked up assuming the same growth rate and nope! DS2 did not waste time getting chunky.

[CharlieB]

Feb 8, 2019 15:48:16 GMT -6 @amc said:

CharlieB DD has had a cold for a few days now. Thanks, DS1 and DS2 for coughing and sneezing on her. 😒 I've been watching her closely and haven't seen anything concerning enough to take her in. Just a cough, occasional sneezes, and a bit of congestion. It's frustrating because every few feedings, she'll start coughing, gag on the milk she has in her mouth, then spit up most of what she's just eaten all over herself.

Oh, poor kiddo. That’s reassuring to know that she hasn’t spiked a temp or had breathing issues. I hope that she’s on the mend soon. The spitting up from coughing would be super frustrating. It seems like DS1 couldn’t have a cold during his first year without it spiraling into bronchiolitis, so I’m probably more anxious than I need to be.

The doc wants us to head in at 8 tomorrow morning unless we can’t get him to eat overnight. That will be another trip to the ER. Let’s hope we have an uneventful evening. 🤞

[dashook]

You ladies are awesome. After I posted that long thing about MH yesterday I thought a couple times, I hope they don’t all think I’m a psycho micromanager wife for that. But your responses are very validating.

This probably isn’t surprising but MH also struggles getting the kids up in the morning. Even on days we have nowhere to be, he waits til it’s really late to give them breakfast (like close to 10 sometimes) then barely feeds them anything (e.g. he’ll give 26 month old DD just a pouch...it’s like 50 calories). He also doesn’t change her diaper when she gets up so she’s sitting in her overnight pee diaper that whole time. It drives me crazy.

[dashook]

V is a month old today. I can’t believe it. I’d be more emotional if I weren’t so exhausted and mentally drained from dealing with the three kids today.

It really was not a good day. The older two were driving me and each other nuts and I found myself yelling at them a whole lot. MIL stopped by at one point and I think she smelled trouble, so she ended up taking V for a couple hours so I could take the big ones to lunch. Then after lunch I exchanged DS1 for V and she kept DS1 until 5:15 so the other 3 of us could nap. I’m still exhausted but so grateful for the help.

DH will be home any minute and even though it’s 8 and the older ones should already be in bed, I am letting them stay up because I just don’t have the energy to do bedtime and I’m leaving it for H.

[thelittleredm]

dashook, Hugs, hugs, and some wine. Or something stronger but wine makes me sleepier faster so I go with wine. Everything you're dealing with feels exactly like what I deal with regularly, too, (minus the third kid yet) and I sympathize majorly with it. I do not get how H can be so good about somethings but so fucking awful at things I consider simple and obvious. My mom loves him but is convinced it has a lot to do with growing up in a house where his dad worked so much, he didn't see him doing all the household things much because he was never home or when he was, he was working on stuff he brought home. Idk. It so frustrates me. I didn't grow up like that. My mom may have done a lot of the cleaning because she stayed home but my dad always took an active role in cleaning even when he was tired after work.

[dashook]

thelittleredm tomorrow there will be wine! This is so pathetic but I have to have it during the day or not at all, since V’s bedtime is my bedtime (because he won’t sleep anywhere but with me in my bed). But since tomorrow is Saturday and DH will be around to help with the kids, I definitely plan to open a bottle of sauv blanc.

I’m also thinking about a pedicure tomorrow morning. I last got one 2 days before V was born and it’s definitely time to refresh.

[thelittleredm]

dashook, Ooh, yes. Get the pedicure! I always get one and pay extra for extra leg massage time.

[k]

Our friends graciously just picked up the boys to take them to the children’s museum 🙌. I should be cleaning the house for my aunt and uncle who are coming over later...but I’m just laying in bed drinking coffee.

[thelittleredm]

Feb 9, 2019 7:58:32 GMT -6 k said:

Our friends graciously just picked up the boys to take them to the children’s museum 🙌. I should be cleaning the house for my aunt and uncle who are coming over later...but I’m just laying in bed drinking coffee.

I wish I could do that. I have to work again this weekend and I'm so tired.


So, in a half-assed attempt to see how my body would respond to sex at this stage in the game, H and I stayed up late and had sex. To be fair, I was also starting to feel guilty knowing we haven't had sex in 2 months and there would be none for at least 6 weeks after A arrives. Anyway. I expected to be crampy with a contraction or two afterward based on previous experiences but that was not the case this time. My contractions were on top of each other and I had to walk around and focus my breath for a good 30 minutes before they paced out and finally died out. Maybe it got me to a 5 LOL But in the moment, all I could do was question whether I was actually ready to be in labor or not. Answer. I am.

[dashook]

Update on MH snd the kids clothing bins fiasco.

It came up organically this morning and I was very calm saying that I had been down there and dug through all the bins for the 3 month stuff. I also mentioned that I would need to reorganize them at some point because they’re all mixed together. He responded that it’s because he had washed all of them. I said, okay but when they were in the boxes they were organized by gender and age. He said, yes they were very organized but then I had to wash them all and I only had 4 weeks.

So. This MF is acknowledging that the clothes *were* organized but that he just didn’t GAF and purposely comingled them for washing purposes. And apparently washing them one box at a time would have taken more than 4 weeks 🤔

Somehow this didn’t devolve into a fight. I think it’s because I’ve accepted that it’s not even worth talking to him about this anymore. He clearly thinks what he did was logical and fine.