Nobody tells you... labor edition

[Nymeria]

Jun 17, 2017 11:54:49 GMT -6 beachbum22 said:

I'll add that getting stitched up after birth might hurt way more than giving birth. Epi might've worn off by then.

If you're thinking about getting an epidural: The epi (the needle part) might seem scary at first, and you might want to opt out because of fear, but after it's administered, you'll be very happy and grateful. After they were done putting it in, I was like, "that's it?!”

+1 getting stitched up hurt worse. I let my epi wear off while in labor and for delivery but had to hit the button again after delivery while getting a couple stitches.

Also +1 to being afraid of the epi. Needles don't bother me at all, but I was scared of getting an epi. Enough that I went into labor planning a med-free birth to avoid the epi, but back labor and non-stop contractions pushed me into basically begging for an epi. It ended up being NBD and I was so happy I got one.

[Nymeria]

Jun 19, 2017 7:14:01 GMT -6 jftb said:

My first PP poop was not a problem. Colace is your friend.

Yes. My first was in the hospital the same day I gave birth and didn't hurt at all. I started taking Colace before I went into labor at the recommendation of an IRL friend who had just had a baby and it was so worth it.

[gimmesugar]

Jun 19, 2017 9:36:22 GMT -6 Nymeria said:

Jun 17, 2017 11:54:49 GMT -6 beachbum22 said:

I'll add that getting stitched up after birth might hurt way more than giving birth. Epi might've worn off by then.

If you're thinking about getting an epidural: The epi (the needle part) might seem scary at first, and you might want to opt out because of fear, but after it's administered, you'll be very happy and grateful. After they were done putting it in, I was like, "that's it?!”

+1 getting stitched up hurt worse. I let my epi wear off while in labor and for delivery but had to hit the button again after delivery while getting a couple stitches.

Also +1 to being afraid of the epi. Needles don't bother me at all, but I was scared of getting an epi. Enough that I went into labor planning a med-free birth to avoid the epi, but back labor and non-stop contractions pushed me into basically begging for an epi. It ended up being NBD and I was so happy I got one.

I was also scared out of my mind about the epi and have been since I was young and only dreamed about having a baby. I hate needles and struggle with getting my blood drawn. My husband sat in front of me, and I remember mouthing "I'm so scared" to him.

Mine also ended up being NBD, and I'm so glad I got it when I did. My anesthesiologist was great and just kept reassuring me he was going to take the pain away...and he did!


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[Nymeria]

After getting my epidural I was told I could hit the button to boost it every 15-20 minutes (can't remember if it was 15 or 20). I hit it twice and started feeling my rib cage go numb. It freaked me out a bit so I stopped hitting the button (around 12:30-1am) and didn't hit it again until after delivery when I was getting stitches (around 9:30am?). Now I know that's fine and I could have kept hitting it, but in the end I was glad I stopped boosting the epi.

I liked being able to feel what I was doing while pushing. As PP mentioned the ring of fire was no joke and for those few contractions I was regretting not being totally numb, but in the end it was worth it. I pushed for an hour and a half. After delivery my nurse told me a lot of FTMs push a lot longer, and I really think feeling what I was doing helped me not have to push longer than I did.

[Nymeria]

If you think you're at all interested in watching yourself deliver, go for it. Leading up to L&D I never imagined I'd EVER want to watch, but when they offered me a mirror I decided why not - if I changed my mind they could move it away.

I really liked it. It was so motivating to watch his head get closer and closer to being out. I could see the progress I was making with each push and it gave me something to focus on and work for.

I know a mirror is not for everyone, but after thinking I'd never want one, I was very happy I said yes when they offered it to me.

[yummeecookee]

Jun 19, 2017 9:36:22 GMT -6 Nymeria said:

Jun 17, 2017 11:54:49 GMT -6 beachbum22 said:

I'll add that getting stitched up after birth might hurt way more than giving birth. Epi might've worn off by then.

If you're thinking about getting an epidural: The epi (the needle part) might seem scary at first, and you might want to opt out because of fear, but after it's administered, you'll be very happy and grateful. After they were done putting it in, I was like, "that's it?!”

+1 getting stitched up hurt worse. I let my epi wear off while in labor and for delivery but had to hit the button again after delivery while getting a couple stitches.

Also +1 to being afraid of the epi. Needles don't bother me at all, but I was scared of getting an epi. Enough that I went into labor planning a med-free birth to avoid the epi, but back labor and non-stop contractions pushed me into basically begging for an epi. It ended up being NBD and I was so happy I got one.

I was also scared of getting an epi. I planned my labor thinking I would just go w IV pain meds. Yea, that didn't last too long.

[joy]

Jun 19, 2017 9:03:05 GMT -6 @easilyunamused said:

Thanks so much for sharing all of these! I'm both terrified of this info, but glad I have it.

As odd as it may sound, don't be scared. Your body is going to do what it's going to do. It's easier to embrace the experience rather than fear or fight it.

EDIT - yes, I was scared, by the way. But I was afraid of not knowing how much longer it all would last. What was happening, what my body was doing was all very interesting. But the unknown amount of time until the end was killer.

[joy]

There are people called "post partum doulas."

Doula-ing is not just a job for birth. My doula did visits post partum to help with breastfeeding, stay overnight to help with the baby and be a person to listen/help process your delivery experience.

Very few women get the birth they envisioned and for some that's very difficult to process. If you feel that way afterwards, it's FINE. Talk to a sympathetic ear. It's okay to feel negatively about a birth experience even if it ended with a healthy child.

Please take care of YOU after delivery.

[jftb]

I had an overnight doula for the first week and I would do it all over again.

Also, the thing I always kept in mind during labor was, "There's going to be an end. Nobody labors forever. This will end."

[cnf]

Jun 19, 2017 10:40:13 GMT -6 yummeecookee said:

Jun 19, 2017 9:36:22 GMT -6 Nymeria said:

+1 getting stitched up hurt worse. I let my epi wear off while in labor and for delivery but had to hit the button again after delivery while getting a couple stitches.

Also +1 to being afraid of the epi. Needles don't bother me at all, but I was scared of getting an epi. Enough that I went into labor planning a med-free birth to avoid the epi, but back labor and non-stop contractions pushed me into basically begging for an epi. It ended up being NBD and I was so happy I got one.

I was also scared of getting an epi. I planned my labor thinking I would just go w IV pain meds. Yea, that didn't last too long.

I was given IV meds to make up for the lack of epidural. All they did was make me barf, tired, and loopy. I was still in plenty of pain. The only thing it helped with was I never actually felt any part of getting my spinal block.

[cateyes]

Oh another thing about the PP timeframe-Your options may be a mess. I literally cried over everything the first few days and then leveled out to like once a day after about a week. Life is better now but that estrogen drop is no joke.

[cmb]

Jun 19, 2017 17:52:43 GMT -6 cateyes said:

Oh another thing about the PP timeframe-Your options may be a mess. I literally cried over everything the first few days and then leveled out to like once a day after about a week. Life is better now but that estrogen drop is no joke.

The baby blues can range from barely any to full on crying all day. If it lasts more than 2 weeks, call your (general you) provider. I was not expecting to be a literal sobbing mess for 14 days straight

[cmb]

Re: baby

If baby comes out fast, baby may not eat for 12 hours post birth due to retained fluid. As long as they are making wet diapers, this is okay

Baby may not let out the piercing wail right away, unlike what you see on tv- this is also normal. It'll come. Both my kids fussed a little but didn't give that cry until 3-4 minutes post birth

[cmb]

Also, the rule for diapers for the first few days is 1 diaper per day of life each day. (1 diaper by 24 hours, 2 diapers on day 2, etc)

[gimmesugar]

Loving this thread btw. Thank you joy for starting it.

RE: baby blues and other emotions.

It confused me. I'm generally not an emotional person. I don't really have "PMS," and during pregnancy my mood swings were pretty mild. However, PP I had random breakdowns over the simplest things. The first one happened when DS was asleep, and I was trying to decide between taking a shower and going to sleep. I couldn't decide, and the fact that I was even having to make that decision made me bawl. Obviously I needed sleep more than anything.

If baby has been recently fed but is still a bit fussy, ask your SO or a family member that's around to take him/her OUT OF THE ROOM so that you can't hear any cries, whimpers, hiccups, grunts, etc. You will sleep so much better. MH has done this for me a few times, including our first night home, and I slept like the dead. I woke up completely confused and thought I had missed a feeding, but it was seriously one of his best ideas ever.


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[gimmesugar]

Jun 19, 2017 17:57:56 GMT -6 cmb said:

*snip*

Baby may not let out the piercing wail right away, unlike what you see on tv- this is also normal. It'll come. Both my kids fussed a little but didn't give that cry until 3-4 minutes post birth

I wish I had known this. When DS was born via c-section, he didn't cry out immediately. I was practically holding my breath waiting to hear him because I just assumed all babies let out a huge wail.


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[cateyes]

Jun 19, 2017 19:28:24 GMT -6 gimmesugar said:

Jun 19, 2017 17:57:56 GMT -6 cmb said:

*snip*

Baby may not let out the piercing wail right away, unlike what you see on tv- this is also normal. It'll come. Both my kids fussed a little but didn't give that cry until 3-4 minutes post birth

I wish I had known this. When DS was born via c-section, he didn't cry out immediately. I was practically holding my breath waiting to hear him because I just assumed all babies let out a huge wail.


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+1

I was literally waiting for them to say something was wrong

[thechickencoop]

Jun 19, 2017 9:57:07 GMT -6 Nymeria said:

After getting my epidural I was told I could hit the button to boost it every 15-20 minutes (can't remember if it was 15 or 20). I hit it twice and started feeling my rib cage go numb. It freaked me out a bit so I stopped hitting the button (around 12:30-1am) and didn't hit it again until after delivery when I was getting stitches (around 9:30am?). Now I know that's fine and I could have kept hitting it, but in the end I was glad I stopped boosting the epi.

I liked being able to feel what I was doing while pushing. As PP mentioned the ring of fire was no joke and for those few contractions I was regretting not being totally numb, but in the end it was worth it. I pushed for an hour and a half. After delivery my nurse told me a lot of FTMs push a lot longer, and I really think feeling what I was doing helped me not have to push longer than I did.

Lol they turned mine off after I had pushed twice because I couldn't feel a damn thing. I ended up only pushing for 54 minutes though (that number has so stuck with me) which was lucky I guess.

[thechickencoop]

Jun 19, 2017 10:01:01 GMT -6 Nymeria said:

If you think you're at all interested in watching yourself deliver, go for it. Leading up to L&D I never imagined I'd EVER want to watch, but when they offered me a mirror I decided why not - if I changed my mind they could move it away.

I really liked it. It was so motivating to watch his head get closer and closer to being out. I could see the progress I was making with each push and it gave me something to focus on and work for.

I know a mirror is not for everyone, but after thinking I'd never want one, I was very happy I said yes when they offered it to me.

+1

When they offered I was like, nooooooyesss actually. And it was motivating. Also H said that he didn't really want to watch and was planning on staying up by my head. He ended up watching the whole thing and was really glad after the fact that he did. BUT he's definitely not squeamish so it's not like he was worried about fainting luckily

[Taitai]

thechickencoop My H also watched and was very glad that he did. Although at one point when I was towards the end of pushing, I asked H how big the baby's head was, and he was like, "ummmm....about the size of a tennis ball?" I just looked at him like...WTF dude.

[Nymeria]

Jun 20, 2017 21:03:00 GMT -6 thechickencoop said:

Jun 19, 2017 10:01:01 GMT -6 Nymeria said:

If you think you're at all interested in watching yourself deliver, go for it. Leading up to L&D I never imagined I'd EVER want to watch, but when they offered me a mirror I decided why not - if I changed my mind they could move it away.

I really liked it. It was so motivating to watch his head get closer and closer to being out. I could see the progress I was making with each push and it gave me something to focus on and work for.

I know a mirror is not for everyone, but after thinking I'd never want one, I was very happy I said yes when they offered it to me.

+1

When they offered I was like, nooooooyesss actually. And it was motivating. Also H said that he didn't really want to watch and was planning on staying up by my head. He ended up watching the whole thing and was really glad after the fact that he did. BUT he's definitely not squeamish so it's not like he was worried about fainting luckily

MH did the same - kept talking about staying by my head then watched the whole thing. I think the fact that they had him hold one of my legs for pushing helped.

I distinctly remember realizing MH had watched the whole and telling him he really didn't want to watch what came next when it was time to deliver the placenta.

[thechickencoop]

Jun 21, 2017 1:15:50 GMT -6 Taitai said:

thechickencoop My H also watched and was very glad that he did. Although at one point when I was towards the end of pushing, I asked H how big the baby's head was, and he was like, "ummmm....about the size of a tennis ball?" I just looked at him like...WTF dude.

[Risscaboobs]

It is hard to pee after pushing a baby out of your vagina. They will make you or threaten you with another catheter.

Do not let them put your IV in the crook of your elbow unless that is literally the only option. You won't be able to bend that arm and will have to snuggle and try to first latch with one arm. (Impossible)

Contractions don't always start out slow and weak and then get closer together. When my labor started, I woke up to them 3 minutes apart. They did get closer together. They were already at 1 minute apart by the time I got to the hospital. No worries of a car baby though since my cervix is a bitch that took prying open to decide it was time to evict the baby.

[moutonrouge]

I'm super late.

- They told me this but I didn't listen: Eat and nap before you go in. Even if you're being induced. Tell your DH to nap, too. My first night of induced labor was uneventful, and they gave me an Ambien. But people are in and out to check on you all night and they insisted on leaving lights on, etc. As a light sleeper who has trouble falling asleep when anxious, I basically didn't sleep.

- You use your pelvic floor for a lot. Especially when you stand up and sit down. It's nice to have something to brace on when doing either for a few days. And don't be surprised if you fart when standing up for a while. I was surprised and embarrassed.

[moutonrouge]

Also, everyone talked about the great giant water bottle the hospital would give you. When I was in L&D I was given a pitcher and basically a Dixie cup. Then in recovery they gave me the same pitcher with a lid that had a straw hole. So if you have the same crappy water pitcher, ask if it has a lid. It was not great (I definitely didn't bring it home) but it beat pouring myself 10 tiny cups of water.

[enchanted]

(Also, sorry for crashing your board; I was checking the nom thread to see if it is being read and saw the title. I got curious, read through, and decided to share. )

[Taitai]

enchanted Thank you for sharing your experience! I found your story encouraging - I've had some worries about L & D with #2. You can post anytime - totally not crashing!

[joy]

Risscaboobs - I forgot about the peeing thing! The nurse told me I had to try and nothing happened. I was so confused. She just said to try again later. It took a few hours.

[Risscaboobs]

Jun 24, 2017 9:55:25 GMT -6 joy said:

Risscaboobs - I forgot about the peeing thing! The nurse told me I had to try and nothing happened. I was so confused. She just said to try again later. It took a few hours.

Yeah I had to try a couple of times. It was hard.

[grumpycat]

When you get an epidural, you also get a catheter. I somehow missed that. I was not pleased. They also will not let you walk around after getting the epidural.

Also, I waited until I was 7.5cm to get an epi. That was not a good move. They had just put the catheter in and I was 10cm. Baby was born 20 minutes later. I felt everything.

Pitocin contractions are just plain mean. I was shaking and needed oxygen at one point. I did take the biggest poop of my life between 5cm and 7cm (on the toilet).

I actually saw DS crowning. Like my face was a couple inches from my vag. He then peed on me as they put him on my chest. I was surprised by how flexible I was and how much relief I felt physically after I pushed him out.