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Post by CurlieWhirlie on Jun 16, 2017 11:43:56 GMT -6
This board doesn't get a lot of traffic but I'm putting this here because I specifically need advice about elementary-aged kids.
My older son just finished second grade, he'll be 8 in August. He has poop accidents. Not completely poops his pants, but more than a skid mark. I'm almost sure he isn't constipated based on his regularity and his diet, but I have a call in to his pedi just in case.
I just want to know if anyone else has experienced this. He says it's because he doesn't want to take the time to go to the bathroom so he holds it until it's basically coming out no matter what and he has to go. It could be because of the time of day he goes (doesn't want to use school bathroom), it could be embarrassment (not wanting to tell his friends he has to go to the bathroom). He does not have a problem with pee, he never has.
I'm frustrated and worried that he's reaching an age where his classmates will not be forgiving if they find out (and if it happens at school they'll smell it). We have talked about this eleventy million times.
So, anyone? Bueller?
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Post by punkypower on Jun 17, 2017 7:17:27 GMT -6
First I'd find out if his waiting until the last second is teacher based. I've discovered that some teachers-even in lower grades-are very strict on bathroom trips. If this is the case get a note from his pediatrician saying he needs to be able to go at any time. Ours never questioned giving us the note. I stopped asking when DS was in 4th grade. He only had pee accidents though.
My son has dealt with constipation. So it became part of the nightly routine that he had to sit on the toilet every night. I'd try this in hopes of adjusting when your DS goes. Or before school. If this doesn't help, I'd institute a reward or punishment-your choice-system. I'd remind him to be aware of his body.
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Post by CurlieWhirlie on Jun 20, 2017 15:20:05 GMT -6
First I'd find out if his waiting until the last second is teacher based. I've discovered that some teachers-even in lower grades-are very strict on bathroom trips. If this is the case get a note from his pediatrician saying he needs to be able to go at any time. Ours never questioned giving us the note. I stopped asking when DS was in 4th grade. He only had pee accidents though. My son has dealt with constipation. So it became part of the nightly routine that he had to sit on the toilet every night. I'd try this in hopes of adjusting when your DS goes. Or before school. If this doesn't help, I'd institute a reward or punishment-your choice-system. I'd remind him to be aware of his body. I talked with him more about it and I think the holding it is related to not wanting to poop in the school bathrooms. Because the bathrooms are stinky and kids don't flush. I mean, I get it! So we are doing a reward system for making good choices, but we are also trying sitting on the toilet in the mornings (progressively earlier to walk back from the midday time he goes now) so he can retrain to go before school.
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Post by punkypower on Jun 21, 2017 15:50:40 GMT -6
DS complains of the super thin toilet paper. I do not think it's umcommon for kids to not want to poop at school. Hopefully he'll get into the habit of going before school.
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cyprissa
Platinum
Posts: 1,293 Likes: 2,379
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Post by cyprissa on Jun 27, 2017 15:05:00 GMT -6
So this is my kid...he does not want to poop at school and will hold it like crazy. He also has a bit of an issue with constipation. I keep him absolutely loaded with fruit since he loves it and water and it helps. He has gotten into a late afternoon schedule finally.
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swarley
Gold
Posts: 691 Likes: 1,950
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Post by swarley on Jun 28, 2017 4:04:58 GMT -6
I stumbled across your post. My son still has a year to go before kindergarten but we're dealing with very serious potty-training problems, we take him to a specialized clinic and started some behavioral therapy, and he has a diagnosis of encopresis. Looking forward, we've been told that if this continues by the time he does start K, that he would qualify for a 504 plan. I'm not saying that CurlieWhirlie, your son would need a 504 plan, but if you address this with your pedi, this can jumpstart a talk with your son's school to come up with a simple plan. This could include letting him take discreet bathroom breaks at specified times or using the bathroom in the nurses office which is usually in a separated area and only one stall.
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Post by ladynemesis on Jun 28, 2017 21:50:40 GMT -6
First I'd find out if his waiting until the last second is teacher based. I've discovered that some teachers-even in lower grades-are very strict on bathroom trips. If this is the case get a note from his pediatrician saying he needs to be able to go at any time. Ours never questioned giving us the note. I stopped asking when DS was in 4th grade. He only had pee accidents though. My son has dealt with constipation. So it became part of the nightly routine that he had to sit on the toilet every night. I'd try this in hopes of adjusting when your DS goes. Or before school. If this doesn't help, I'd institute a reward or punishment-your choice-system. I'd remind him to be aware of his body. I talked with him more about it and I think the holding it is related to not wanting to poop in the school bathrooms. Because the bathrooms are stinky and kids don't flush. I mean, I get it! So we are doing a reward system for making good choices, but we are also trying sitting on the toilet in the mornings (progressively earlier to walk back from the midday time he goes now) so he can retrain to go before school. Reward system is generally preferable to a punishment system, especially when the behavior that would result in not getting a reward carries its own natural consequences. Good luck!
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McBenny
Unicorn
#sickomode
Posts: 52,171 Likes: 296,574
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Post by McBenny on Jul 8, 2017 6:59:45 GMT -6
I don't think there is a need for a doctor since he told you what he is doing. I think you just need to remind him that everyone shits and it is better to go and get it over with than risk having an accident or walking around with shitty underwear.
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Post by sherminator on Oct 8, 2017 21:35:29 GMT -6
I just stumbled across this, and while its not been a problem with DS, Ive had to become much more aware if he HAS gone, since hes fairly constipated from not drinking as much water during the day. DS was fairly private about his habits, but after a couple of rounds of constipation and painful belly- we've narrowed it down to the water. More fruit and water has helped- and he usually goes poop after school and before dinner now.
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