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Post by dizzycooks on Mar 26, 2018 2:59:02 GMT -6
So how what is going on that we are all stressed and overwhelmed? Put your complaints here. And solutions or things that help, if you have them
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Post by lollipop on Mar 26, 2018 9:05:48 GMT -6
S is suddenly terrified of the dark, like, he freaked out because he had to walk past my bedroom and the closet through the lit hallway to get to his room last night. He keeps waking up crying.
M is a bully. She constantly pushes S, hits him and pulls his hair. Nothing has helped so far.
Money is always a problem. We have an appointment to get the van appraised for a trade in so we can get something cheaper. After S turned 6, my child tax went down just enough that I can afford the payments anymore. I've been looking for a job but haven't had any luck yet. I went to a job fair yesterday for a new mall that's opening so hopefully something comes of that and I didn't have to deal with that crowd for nothing.
I have no solutions. Well. Except for S's issue. I'm pretty sure that's because he's been watching Five Nights at Freddy's videos on YouTube, so he's not allowed to do that anymore.
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Post by scorpioscuba on Mar 26, 2018 23:04:25 GMT -6
My job has become a literal nightmare. The workload is out of control, my team and I are drowning and there is no end in sight. My VP is a selfish jerk, doesn’t understand the work we do so he won’t get us more support so we have to just do the best we can with what we have. I’m trying to work a few avenues I have around him but not sure how successful I’ll be. After that I’m out of options.
Dd is a legit handful and I’m struggling with her. We all are. She seems to have a death wish. Has no fear, no boundaries, etc etc. I’m constantly worried for her safety. She disappeared in a matter of seconds at DS’s Bday party on Sunday and I even had extra help to watch her. It’s that bad. She does it on purpose.
I’m trying harder to put words to her emotions to help her through some of her tantrums and also finding more creative outlets for her energy. That is helping some. She loves art and it is a good distraction for her and can change her mood in a heartbeat.
In general I just feel like I’m always failing at work and at motherhood, never mind at being a wife. It’s just all too much sometimes. I’m just tired of having to always do everything for everyone all the effing time.
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Post by dizzycooks on Mar 27, 2018 18:52:24 GMT -6
Dd3 is finally getting her 2 yr molars. She’s so crabby. If her sisters go out in the front yard she wants to go to and loses it when I don’t let her. She loves being outside, but it’s cold, wet and muddy.
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kcrkcs
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Post by kcrkcs on Mar 29, 2018 5:34:28 GMT -6
Work is overwhelming, I need to make more money but also figure out how to take a full day off. I am exhausted and it's not pleasant for anyone. L requires a lot from us (duh I guess). Emotions are often on high. It's pretty easy for her to swap from happy to big tantrum if she doesn't feel like her chosen parent is totally engaged with her. Also she wants to do everything so everything has now become a big task. I can't cook clean or go to the bathroom by myself/without her "helping". bed time is still not really smooth so I put her to bed and then it's all I can do to claw myself to bed. I have been trying to make the few minutes hubs and I do have together count by keeping the phone in another room etc. I just keep telling myself this to shall pass and enjoying all the things she is learning and that she is such a sweet kid who loves us.
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Post by dizzycooks on Mar 30, 2018 15:24:10 GMT -6
kcrkcs I have a “helper” too. I try to ice her little tasks so she can help and learn, but it sure does take extra time. I know your busy season is coming soon, any chance you can take a day beforehand?
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Post by dizzycooks on Mar 31, 2018 13:05:39 GMT -6
kcrkcs HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I hope you have a great day, get some rest and enjoy your family
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Post by lollipop on Apr 3, 2018 8:49:28 GMT -6
Why is my kid so much harder to deal with than my toddler?! He started yelling for me at 3 a.m. instead of getting up and coming to our room like he's supposed to if he needs us at night. This is the rule so he doesn't wake M up. I dealt with him and got back in bed, less than 15 minutes later he was at our door asking if he could go looking for his water bottle (no dude, it's 3 in the morning go back to bed). And then about 10 minutes after that came back in and asked if he could get up and watch Netflix. I was about ready to throttle him. Needless to say, I did not get up when my first alarm went off. And now I'm having coffee.
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Post by dizzycooks on Apr 3, 2018 8:56:44 GMT -6
Why is my kid so much harder to deal with than my toddler?! He started yelling for me at 3 a.m. instead of getting up and coming to our room like he's supposed to if he needs us at night. This is the rule so he doesn't wake M up. I dealt with him and got back in bed, less than 15 minutes later he was at our door asking if he could go looking for his water bottle (no dude, it's 3 in the morning go back to bed). And then about 10 minutes after that came back in and asked if he could get up and watch Netflix. I was about ready to throttle him. Needless to say, I did not get up when my first alarm went off. And now I'm having coffee. I am so sorry. That sounds awful. I’d be sending him to bed an hour early tonight and telling him to lay there. Not ok from a big kid.
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Post by lollipop on Apr 3, 2018 10:19:56 GMT -6
dizzycooks I intend to send him to bed early. Like I said last week or something, He's suddenly terrified of the dark, so that's why he yelled instead of coming to our room, all the lights were off. I sort of get It, I was always afraid of the dark (still am), but it's not THAT dark in his room or the hallway. I'm losing my marbles dealing with him. He's been awful lately. Not just this sudden fear of the dark, he also bursts into tears at the drop of a hat. Yesterday I told him to apologize to M after he knocked her over, and he started cry and got super defensive saying it was an accident. I was like, I know it was an accident, you still have to apologize when you hurt someone even if it's not on purpose. And he's worse than M about being told no.
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kcrkcs
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Post by kcrkcs on Apr 4, 2018 18:12:41 GMT -6
Well today has been a real toddler day. And bed time is proving to be the biggest treat. 😒
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Post by nellieoleson on Apr 6, 2018 21:14:32 GMT -6
Anyone else ready for their kid to give up naps? I CANNOT WAIT to be done with them.
1) Such a time suck in the middle of the day. Harder to plan outings and errands
2) No nap = easy breezy bedtime and a kid that sleeps past 6 am. Nap = kid who can’t go to sleep forever and tosses and turns and sings and yells and plays and squirms for ages and then is up unpredictably early.
I have been trying to skip her naps lately, but she’s just not quite ready and will be a complete and utter wreck by 4 pm. Ugh.
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loony
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Post by loony on Apr 6, 2018 21:22:01 GMT -6
Hi. 👋
DS handed me a glass full of pee tonight.
He’s hardcore trying to potty train, even though he’s really not quite ready. So much pee, so much weiner.
At least it wasn’t on the floor!??
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Post by nellieoleson on Apr 6, 2018 21:32:39 GMT -6
Hi. 👋 DS handed me a glass full of pee tonight. He’s hardcore trying to potty train, even though he’s really not quite ready. So much pee, so much weiner. At least it wasn’t on the floor!?? At least he is interested, and making attempts... in his own special way. My dd2 has absolutely no interest in potty training. It’s like she is in complete denial about the entire reality of toilets and potty chairs. She has a deep interest in toilet paper, though, so that’s fun.
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loony
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Posts: 12,578 Likes: 44,998
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Post by loony on Apr 6, 2018 21:37:22 GMT -6
Hi. 👋 DS handed me a glass full of pee tonight. He’s hardcore trying to potty train, even though he’s really not quite ready. So much pee, so much weiner. At least it wasn’t on the floor!?? At least he is interested, and making attempts... in his own special way. My dd2 has absolutely no interest in potty training. It’s like she is in complete denial about the entire reality of toilets and potty chairs. She has a deep interest in toilet paper, though, so that’s fun. DD was so easy, she basically trained herself. This guy wants to so badly, but just isn’t there. I think I have said various “don’t do X with your penis” at least 100x a day for the last two months. 🙄 I’m trying to roll with it, but it’s hard not to just try and crack down...but then I don’t want to scare him and delay the whole thing.
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Post by dizzycooks on Apr 7, 2018 5:59:09 GMT -6
Anyone else ready for their kid to give up naps? I CANNOT WAIT to be done with them. 1) Such a time suck in the middle of the day. Harder to plan outings and errands 2) No nap = easy breezy bedtime and a kid that sleeps past 6 am. Nap = kid who can’t go to sleep forever and tosses and turns and sings and yells and plays and squirms for ages and then is up unpredictably early. I have been trying to skip her naps lately, but she’s just not quite ready and will be a complete and utter wreck by 4 pm. Ugh. Omg no!! Don’t take my naps!! More on that later...
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Post by dizzycooks on Apr 7, 2018 7:41:44 GMT -6
Anyone else ready for their kid to give up naps? I CANNOT WAIT to be done with them. 1) Such a time suck in the middle of the day. Harder to plan outings and errands 2) No nap = easy breezy bedtime and a kid that sleeps past 6 am. Nap = kid who can’t go to sleep forever and tosses and turns and sings and yells and plays and squirms for ages and then is up unpredictably early. I have been trying to skip her naps lately, but she’s just not quite ready and will be a complete and utter wreck by 4 pm. Ugh. Omg no!! Don’t take my naps!! More on that later...
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Post by lollipop on Apr 7, 2018 13:46:27 GMT -6
Anyone else ready for their kid to give up naps? I CANNOT WAIT to be done with them. 1) Such a time suck in the middle of the day. Harder to plan outings and errands 2) No nap = easy breezy bedtime and a kid that sleeps past 6 am. Nap = kid who can’t go to sleep forever and tosses and turns and sings and yells and plays and squirms for ages and then is up unpredictably early. I have been trying to skip her naps lately, but she’s just not quite ready and will be a complete and utter wreck by 4 pm. Ugh. On one hand I can't wait, because not needing naps will make the transition to the big bed easier, by way of only having the fight once a day. I'm dreading it. She only likes to sleep in her bed, and apparently H was the same way and moving from the crib was a nightmare for his parents. On the other hand, I love the 2 hours of quiet in the middle of the day. I don't find it hard to plan around at all. Weekdays, S is at school so we don't do much,and if we have to go somewhere we just go before or after. Delaying it by an hour or so never hurts. And she hits a wall by about 5 if we skip it entirely most of the time, but she will not go to sleep if S is still up, so unless I want him in bed by 6 (and consequently up at 4 or 5) I have to keep her up.
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Post by dizzycooks on Apr 7, 2018 20:10:29 GMT -6
nellieoleson, We do naps here until almost kindergarten. I might let the 4yo skip nap this summer because the 6yo will be home and I think they might self entertain better together. Currently 2 days a week I work afternoons and dd3 misses her nap. She is a MESS by 2:30 and usually crashes on the way home at 4. She goes to bed fine at 7-7:30 with a nap so I don't worry about it much. My 4 & 6 yo go to bed at the same time and they all crash pretty fast. I need that quiet time midday. We go out between 9 and noon and do home stuff after that. However, it is nice knowing we can do an occasional day without a nap if needed, I prefer the routine. With new baby coming I expect this routine to continue for several more years. What do you do when you skip naptime? I am in the midst of planning 8 weeks of summer plans for my two big kids and a big part of it is chores and school work type stuff I expect them to do during naptime. Mornings and late afternoon are dedicated to excursions and outside time which generally exhausts them.
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Post by nellieoleson on Apr 7, 2018 20:45:00 GMT -6
dizzycooks - Dd1 stopped napping entirely right after her 2nd birthday. She was done done done and has rarely even fallen asleep in the car since then. For a while I tried to force a nap for her, but she would either cause a stressful ruckus for an hour until I let her get up, or if she would fall asleep, she would wake up 30 minutes later incredibly grumpy, crying and melting down for an hour afterward. Other than me getting no break, everything else was better when she stopped napping. Dd2 has been kind of a weird napper in that until very recently she liked to nap at 10:30 am. It was great on Tuesdays and Thursdays because we would take Dd1 to school at 9:30 and then dd2 would come home and sleep while Dd1 was gone. An hour of kid-free time twice a week, yay! ETA: On the other days of the week we would do stuff around the house in the mornings, dd2 would nap, after she woke up we’d have lunch, then we would do activities and/or errands after lunch. The last couple weeks she has started consistently sleeping past 6 am (awesome), and suddenly isn’t ready to nap until 1-ish. All that is fine except that if she naps in the afternoon she takes FOREVVVVVVVER to go to sleep at night, which in turn ends up keeping Dd1 awake later, too. I think another reason the afternoon naps are annoying me is because it is cold here in the morning, but will be warm and lovely by the afternoon and that’s when I want to get out and go to the park, etc. Mostly I think my frustration is in my routine getting messed up by changing sleep requirements and we haven’t adjusted to the new normal as of yet. ETA: A solution to this would be to move her bedtime later and make her and dd1 share a room, but dd2 is adamantly opposed to the idea of sharing a room with her sister. I’m not sure I’m up for the challenge of that battle right now.
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Post by scorpioscuba on Apr 7, 2018 21:40:19 GMT -6
Ds also completely refused naps after age 2 and we gave up fighting him. He was a very difficult sleeper all around. Dd on the other hand is the complete opposite and is still napping great and NEEDS her 2 hours from 12-2 every afternoon. I did recently push her bedtime back a bit more toward 8pm because she was waking up very early and that seemed to solve the problem. Wakes up about 6:15. Today randomly she woke up at 7:20! 😱
When we were at Disneyland, she took one short nap in the afternoon on me 1 day in the afternoon in the ergo, the 2nd day I tried but couldn’t make it happen. She survived the day even though towards the end it was a little rough. So I’m ok with her missing a nap once in awhile an I know she will survive.
As for potty training she is also in the complete refusal camp. She can and will go on the potty on occasion. I have bought her kitty undies and done everything under the sun to entice her. She’s like, “nope!” I’m shocked because DS was potty trained by 27 months also practically on his own and I just don’t know what to do with myself. I’m so over diapers. I was hoping to have her out of them by our big vacation in May but that clearly isn’t happening. I’ve thought of doing the 3 day thing but so far every time I’ve tried to plan it something has gotten in the way. I’m trying to let it go for now. We talk about it often and read books. Other than that 🤷♀️
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Post by sjames2015 on Apr 8, 2018 21:29:18 GMT -6
DD1, my 5 year old still loves naps. She gets up between 645-7 and is in bed by 830pm. DD2 isn’t fighting naps yet. We do skip them at times. DD1 rarely falls asleep in the car unless she’s been nonstop since waking up. DD2 will fall asleep if it’s nap time. If we do skip naps DD2 is full of attitude by 4 and DD1 is full of attitude by 5. So we don’t make a habit of it unless we have plans that will keep them happy. DD1 potty trained herself right at 3. DD2 has been randomly using the potty and her big girl panties for the last 8 months. It really kicked in a few months back but she has regressed back to wanting diapers so she can play. She will have good days and bad days.
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loony
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Post by loony on Apr 8, 2018 21:49:33 GMT -6
DD stopped napping at 2. She will occasionally sleep in the car on long drives (at 4.5). She also not once, not ever in her whole 2 years napped longer than 45 minutes. Not once. Kid wakes up at 5am daily and is asleep before 8:30 (7:15 if that works for the day, but is fine until later).
DS is trying to drop naps, but most mornings falls asleep for 30-45 minutes on the way home from dropping DD off at preschool at 9am. The other days he sleeps between 45 minutes and 2 hours anywhere from 10am-3pm and sometimes skips all together.
He’s not really ready to drop and I enjoy those 45 minutes in my driveway or being able to play a game with DD, but I am definitely ready for an earlier bedtime.
I’m a night owl by nature, so once he’s asleep by 9pm, I’m still up for two hours and she wakes up at 5. It’s a vicious cycle.
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Post by nellieoleson on Apr 9, 2018 21:07:17 GMT -6
loony - Your kids’ sleep patterns sound almost EXACTLY like mine, down to the 45 minute naps. The handful of times dd2 has napped longer than an hour I was like “Whoa, she is sleeping a crazy long time today.” I cannot imagine what life would be like with kids who didn’t wake up long before the crack of dawn, who took 2+ hour naps every day, and still were able to go to bed at 7:30. I think I’d probably be a better mom? 🤔
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loony
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Post by loony on Apr 9, 2018 21:13:00 GMT -6
It’s 8:07. DD passed out at 7:30 on the couch (She was awake at 4:30 and up for the day at 5:30) and DS is still raging. He was up at 6 and slept for almost an hour after a play date today. I’ll be shocked if he’s asleep before 9.
I think after 4 years of doing lots and lots of solo parenting, I just have a routine I do. Some days it isn’t pretty and some days are downright ugly, but they are generally happy and smart kids that are hitting all their milestones, so I have to let go the guilt and realize I’m doing the best I can.
Also thankfully 7ish hours is a full night for me. I blame their sleeping habits on my genetics. I really was hoping they would take after SO and marathon sleep, but alas, they got stuck with my late to bed/early to ride genetics.
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kcrkcs
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Post by kcrkcs on Apr 10, 2018 5:23:41 GMT -6
The potty training thing is killing me. So Over diapers and L was so into it for a while, and now wants nothing to do with her potty and is all about maximizing the diaper. I guess it will happen when it happens. I just hope that's sooner than later! And naps are a great source of frustration. At daycare she naps pretty consistently for 2 hrs. At home we are just so busy it's hard to be on exactly the same schedule as day care and if you miss that sweet spot at all there is no chance. And usually even if we time it just right she is way to excited about what's going on to level down. She actually does ok on the days she doesn't take naps and it's much easier to get her to bed at a good time. On nap days it's not uncommon for her to stretch out bedtime to 8:30 or 9 (even though she is in bed at 7:30) as you can see sleep is still a fucking disaster for us 😵 our lives are so crazy I don't know how to give her more consistency which would probably be the key. Parent fail.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 10, 2018 13:09:06 GMT -6
DD didn't nap yesterday and once last week. NOOOO! Please do not be the beginning of the end of naps. I enjoy my naptime with her!! I will say that bedtime was super easy though and she slept from 8:30 (earlyish for her) to 6:30 (about normal). It's hard to be back and forth with naps though because you waste forever trying to see if they will nap.
I think DD is ready to potty-train but I haven't moved forward to much. She pees on the potty pretty well if you ask if she wants to go, she tells you she wants to or you do it at a set time (wake-up, etc). I think a weekend of working on it would make it happen for pee anyway. I don't know how you potty train for poop..... she goes and then tells us she did it. How do you work on that part??
DD is sleeping though the night but only in our bed.... the hope is that we will get her new room/ bed going soon..... before next baby. She has never done well in crib and we are not even trying that anymore. We put her down and then have a while to hang out though so it's not so bad. If she takes a while to fall asleep (I lay by her) I will fall asleep which cuts out dh's and i's hang time, which sucks.
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Post by scorpioscuba on Apr 10, 2018 18:18:19 GMT -6
I’m in Chicago for work alllllllll week. I tried video chatting with DS while my mom was with them. BIG MISTAKE. DD saw me and lost it. She spent 2 hours crying “momma come home!” while my mom tried to calm her down and rock her to sleep. Finally got her to relax and fall asleep in her crib. Then about an hour later my mom texts me to let me know that DS has started puking. And has diarrhea. Literally out of nowhere. H was on his way home from school. Literal nightmare all night long. The poor kid did not sleep. He laid on our bathroom floor next to the toilet. I feel like the worst mom ever. I just want to go home. 😪He is feeling a bit better and has some soup this evening and hasn’t thrown up since this morning.
But seriously, this job isn’t worth it. So many tears today.
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Post by scorpioscuba on Apr 10, 2018 18:19:25 GMT -6
Also... dizzycooks spill your potty training secrets!! Inquiring minds want to know! And how are you feeling!? Where is that boy? 😂
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Post by dizzycooks on Apr 10, 2018 18:23:17 GMT -6
I’m in Chicago for work alllllllll week. I tried video chatting with DS while my mom was with them. BIG MISTAKE. DD saw me and lost it. She spent 2 hours crying “momma come home!” while my mom tried to calm her down and rock her to sleep. Finally got her to relax and fall asleep in her crib. Then about an hour later my mom texts me to let me know that DS has started puking. And has diarrhea. Literally out of nowhere. H was on his way home from school. Literal nightmare all night long. The poor kid did not sleep. He laid on our bathroom floor next to the toilet. I feel like the worst mom ever. I just want to go home. 😪He is feeling a bit better and has some soup this evening and hasn’t thrown up since this morning. But seriously, this job isn’t worth it. So many tears today. I’m so sorry it’s awful to see kids that sick and hear your baby crying. Hopefully your dh will be able to calm dd and your ds will perk up.
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